


You've Got Some Living before You Die

by castronomicaaal



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: F/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-14
Updated: 2016-02-17
Packaged: 2018-05-01 13:16:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 12
Words: 23,030
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5207252
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/castronomicaaal/pseuds/castronomicaaal
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After Rick starts to realize just how helpful Beth can be for him, he finds himself beginning to spend more time with the girl. As feelings develop, something horrible happens that will test not only their emotions, but their will to survive.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I want to dedicate this to my friend Heather (glancesicanretrace) who has been listening to me babble about writing fanfiction since we first began to speak last December. I'm finally posting a chaptered story! Woo!
> 
> I plan to update every Friday and Tuesday so please be on the lookout!

_“Some people think to be strong is to never feel pain. In reality, it’s the strongest people who feel it, understand it, and accept it.”_

 

Maggie tosses Beth another container of canned vegetables and the blonde catches them easily, fitting them into the ever increasing bag of food laid out before her.

“That should be enough,” she tells her older sister, fastening up the zipper afterwards and setting the bag aside. “Glenn told me this trip will only last a day or two, and we’ve packed more than enough for a week.”

Maggie nods in agreeance, satisfied by their work, and makes her way over to her sister. “Thanks for helpin’ out.”

Beth smiles, shrugging as she pulls her sister into a side hug. “I like helpin’,” she offers. “Makes me feel like I’m doin’ somethin’ important.”

“We all play a part,” Maggie agrees sincerely, kissing Beth on the top of her head quickly. “Speakin’ of which, I’m about ready to start watch duty for the night.” She pulls away apologetically, leaving Beth behind with a wave and a smile.

Once the older girl is out of the room, the blonde sighs gently, crossing her arms in front of her chest.

She can’t help but worry about the trip two days from now, no matter how small it’s meant to be. That’s one of her best traits—worrying about things she can’t control. Ultimately, Beth knows that whatever happens, happens. But it certainly doesn’t stop her stomach from cramping up in nerves at the thought, anyway.

“Hey you.”

A voice just behind her pulls her from her worries and she jumps slightly, turning to meet gazes with Glenn.

“You scared me,” she admits sheepishly, shaking her head. Glenn chuckles in response, throwing an arm around her shoulder.

“A world where the dead rise, and a little greeting makes you jump.” He teases in good faith and Beth plays along, grinning and nodding.

“We’re still human,” she counters, shrugging.

Glenn nods. “Good point. Have you seen your sister, by chance?”

“She just left for watch duty,” the young girl responds. “Where’ve you been off too?”

“Rick wanted to go over plans for the big trip.” Glenn tells her, nodding slightly. He pulls away from her after, shoving both hands into his pockets nonchalantly. “We’re planning to raid a few houses just past Millersville and he wants to make sure we’re good on the strategy.”

Beth ‘hmms’ slightly in response, her nerves returning. Small goosebumps begin to rise along her pale flesh at the thought and she bites at her lip, feeling stupid for being unable to control her emotions better than this.

“Looks like you did a good job of packing things up for us,” Glenn compliments afterwards, his eyes traveling to the bags scattered along the table.

“Maggie helped,” she tells him, shrugging. “It’s the least we could do. Be careful out there tomorrow, Glenn.”

Beth doesn’t want to sound too anxious, but knows she’d never forgive herself if something were to happen to him tomorrow and she never had the chance to say her thoughts. She’s more observant than people probably giver her credit for, and she knows enough to realize that Maggie would probably die of a broken heart if anything were to happen to Glenn come tomorrow. And honestly, he’s become like a big brother to Beth. The thought of losing that causes a lump to form in her throat.

“Hey,” Glenn remarks gently, grabbing her hand and rubbing at her palm comfortingly. He’s always been able to read people pretty well and can tell that the blonde is more than nervous. “I’m going to be just fine. We all are. Don’t you worry about a thing.”

“Glenn’s right.”

Both turn and spot Rick entering the room, a playful Judith in his arms. He smiles softly Beth’s way, hoping to comfort the blonde, and she finds herself blushing delicately in response.

“I trust you guys.” She responds sincerely, nodding. “I just worry, is all.”

“I get it, believe me,” Rick agrees, allowing Beth to take Judith as the baby reaches both arms out, wiggling them in front of herself and aiming for the younger girl.

“Hey there pretty,” Beth coos, offering the baby a bright smile before she returns her eyes to Rick. “I know you do,” she nods understandingly.

“I’m going to go join Maggie on watch for a bit; say goodnight and stuff.” Glenn smiles once more at both Rick and Beth, saying his own goodnight’s to them, before turning and leaving the cell block.

Beth snorts softly, shaking her head. “And stuff,” she echoes. “I’ll bet you two pieces of candy I know what that really means.”

Rick raises an inquisitive, amused brow before shaking his head and chuckling softly. “Not a bet I’m willin’ to lose,” he laughs. “I think we all know what that one means.”

She nods, pushing a loose strand of hair back from out of her eyes. “They’re in love,” she points out after, matter of fact.

He nods slowly, both eyes glazing over a bit. Beth can tell that he’s lost in thought by this point and almost begins worrying that he may be thinking of Lori’s death. It’s been nearly a year since her passing, but she knows that he still thinks of her often. She doesn’t blame him if he does. Still, she remembers how things were right after it happened—they all do—and that’s not a place she’d ever want him going to again.

“Reminds me of when me and Lori started datin’ in high school,” he tells her. Beth’s breathing slows as he admits this, afraid she may move or say something wrong and cause Rick to close himself off. It’s not often he’s willing to open up about things. “We’d always sneak off, lookin’ for secret places to meet up.”

Beth nods, running her clammy palms over her jeans. “Sounds nice,” she offers sincerely. “I was too young before the world went to hell to ever experience anythin’ like that.”

Rick admires her thoughtfully for a moment or so before nodding. “I suppose so,” he agrees. “I think it’s time to put Judy down for the night.”

The blonde glances at the baby in her arms, surprised to spot the little girl now sleeping. “She seemed so awake just a few minutes ago,” Beth giggles, kissing the baby on the head.

Rick chuckles, nodding. “That’s a baby for you. Come on, we can put her to bed.”

* * *

“It’s all in the way you care for the plants.” Hershel offers sincerely, smiling at Carl as the young boy helps him plant new tomatoes and carrots. “If you’re gentle with them, if you help them to grow and flourish, they’ll return the favor and end up big and strong.”

Carl nods, chuckling softly. He’s not quite sure he believes everything Hershel has to say about it, but if he’s this sincere in caring for plants, Carl figures the least he can do is go along with it.

“Is that how you got us those big cucumbers a few months back?” He asks, still grinning.

Hershel smiles, nodding at the boy as he continues to poor dirt carefully over his seeds.

“Looks like you two started the fun without me.”

Rick inturrupts their playful banter, joining his son on the ground as he too begins to sift through the dirt, layering it on top of the seeds.

“I’d of been out here sooner but Judith is runnin’ a bit of a fever,” he informs them both, already beginning to sweat a bit due to the heat of the sun.

Carl pauses his movements, his head hanging. “She okay dad? Do we need Hershel to check on her?”

“Nah,” he shakes his head, wiping at his brow. “Carol’s with her now. It’s just a small fever, nothin’ a little bit of baby aspirin shouldn’t take care of. It’s just makin’ her grumpy, is all.”

His son sighs in relief afterwards, Hershel doing something similar himself.

“I thought Beth was supposed to have her for the day?”

“I told her to take the day off, be a girl for a few hours.” Rick smiles softly, shaking his head. “I thought maybe she’d wanna grab some sun while it’s still hot, but she practically ran off for the library after I suggested it.”

Both he and Hershel share a laugh, the older of the two shaking his head good naturedly. “That’s Bethy,” he offers, grinning.

“Books,” Carl counters, grimacing. “Gross.”

Rick snorts, patting his son on the head. “Comics are books, too. Even if you don’t wanna admit it. Besides, books can be kinda fun. Especially nowadays, when realities a little tough to swallow. Books can be a good escape. Maybe you should try ‘em.”

Carl shrugs noncommittedly, continuing to care for his plants. “How long should these take to grow?” He asks a few minutes afterwards.

“A few months or so,” Hershel provides. “Just before the cold takes over, if we’re lucky.”

“And if not?”

The old man exhales profoundly. “Then we try again next year.”


	2. Chapter 2

When Rick and his away group emerge from their vehicles, bloody and tired and with scowls on their faces, Beth’s heart speeds up as she frantically begins eyeing each individual over.

_Ultimately, Beth knows that whatever happens, happens. But it certainly doesn’t stop her stomach from cramping up in nerves at the thought, anyway._

She just knew it, somehow deep down inside, she just knew that things were too good to be true.

Eventually the realization settles in— _Bob_ —and her stomach drops and a sigh of relief passes through her lips both simultaneously.

It’s not that she didn’t like Bob, not at all. In fact, he had started to become an important part of the group and she liked him more than enough; with his positivity and sense of humor and willingness to contribute. Still, a part of her finds relief in the fact that it wasn’t anyone else out on the mission—Rick, Glenn, or Sasha—for whom she has known longer and cares for more deeply.

“What happened?”

It’s Hershel who asks, stumbling forward on his crutches to shelter Sasha in his arms as the girl cries bitterly.

“Got caught in the crossfires of a bad crew,” Rick barks out, voice gruff. Beth watches as he wipes his dirty sleeve along his forehead, pushing beads of sweat away. “We were held up in a house for a few minutes until Bob took off, distracted the group and got us away. He didn’t make it himself.”

A silence lingers afterwards, his words hanging heavy in the air.

It’s no wonder they’re all in such a bad mood, Beth reasons to herself as she crosses both arms in front of her chest. Bob gave his life to save them.

Suddenly her fondness for the man increases tenfold, her heart hanging heavy in the wake of his death.

It’s only after Rick stomps off, pulling his bloody shirt from his body and tossing it aside as he goes, that she awakens from her trance. She meets Hershel’s eyes, soft and understanding, and she nods in response as he points in Rick’s direction, asking her without words if she will follow Rick and check on the man.

Her footsteps are quiet but quick as she reaches to catch up, following Rick into the prison and back into a part of the jail they don’t often venture to. She worries briefly about walkers, but figures it must be safe enough if it’s not blocked off any. Still, she also finds comfort in her knife stored within its sheath against her hip.

Eventually Rick pauses, turning a corner quickly before entering through a door. Beth cautiously follows, careful to make minimal noise as she closes the door behind herself.

It’s a small room with a desk and one shelf and not much else. She can tell right away that it must have been a room for a police officer to work in, probably an office of some sort in the past.

“Rick…”

“Just tired of losin’ people, of havin’ to fight to keep our lives.”

Beth can tell by the way he speaks that he had known she was there all along—probably knew she had been following him the entire time. A part of her chest warms at the realization that he allowed her to without telling her to go back to her cell.

She sighs, pushing her long locks back behind her shoulders before taking a tentative step closer. “I am too,” she agrees honestly, swallowing thickly. “But it’s life, now.”

“Damn it.” When Rick turns suddenly, slamming his hand down onto the desk she freezes, not sure whether to leave him be or stay. “I’m sick of this. This isn’t the life I want for myself, for my children, for any of you…”

He grimaces afterwards, cupping his wrist within his opposite hand. Beth sighs, finding the courage to approach him and take his hand into her own, feeling the appendage over for any damage.

“Hurtin’ yourself like a fool isn’t gonna change things,” she points out, biting her lip as Rick winces in pain before her. “There’s no changin’ things, only getting’ used to ‘em. It’s hard Rick, but we all gotta do it. This isn’t the life you want for us? Make it better. We don’t have much, but we have each other and the only way to keep survivin’ is to fight and to take it for ourselves. Does it suck? You’re damn right it does, but that’s how things go now.”

Rick watches her for a moment or two, eyes blinking rapidly but otherwise unmoving. She almost feels foolish beneath his gaze, her body trembling and cheeks coloring red in embarrassment over her outburst, but then to her surprise a soft grin breaks out as he chuckles.

Beth squints curiously, her nose scrunching in confusion but she laughs, too.

“When did you get to be so wise, Beth?” He asks her, continuing to allow her to care for his wrist.

She shrugs, smiling up at him caringly. “Always been that way,” she admits. “Just never had anybody askin’ or needin’ any advice from me before now.”

He nods thoughtfully, taking a moment to allow her words to sink in. “And what kind of advice do you have stored up there about idiots who sprain their own wrists because they can’t control their anger?”

She grins as she hears the sarcasm within his tone, shrugging playfully. “I think,” she begins, “You’re probably best off lettin’ me wrap it up for you, just in case. And be more careful next time. There are other ways of relievin’ stress, you know.”

He nods appreciatively, finally taking his hand back. He flexes a few times, scowling deeply as pain shoots up his wrist. Beth watches in concern, hoping it isn’t anything more than a bad sprain.

It only takes a moment or so for her eyes to falter away, suddenly remembering Rick’s bare form before her. Her eyes travel up his stomach, toned and manly, and eventually she spots a large scar, just off and to the right side of his frame.

Without really thinking about it she reaches out, her fingertips tracing the mark. Rick tenses before her but doesn’t make to move, dropping both hands to his sides and allowing the girl to map over his wound.

“What’s this from?” She wonders gently, still mesmerized.

“Got shot,” he offers, voice thick. “It’s what put me in my coma before the outbreak.”

Beth nods understandingly.

“You’re a brave man,” she tells him sincerely, finally meeting his gaze.

He sighs deeply, eyes focused on the blondes own, not sure really how to respond to a compliment he fears isn’t quite true.

“You are,” she presses forth, smiling candidly. “Ever since I met you, you’ve been nothin’ but brave.”

“I’m a failure,” he counters, eyes falling.

Beth’s lips round downwards after, cupping his chin within her hands. “Don’t say that, Rick. It’s not true. You try—sometimes things work out better than others—but you try. That’s bravery.”

He takes a moment to assess her words, to assess the glint of utter sincerity upon her face, before breathing out deeply and pulling her flush against his frame in a hug.

She feels stunned for a moment, not sure what to make of the contact, but settles into his chest easily, her head falling upon his shoulder as she squeezes back just as tight.

“Tell me once more I’m doin’ the right thing.” He asks of her, voice softer than before.

Beth nods against him, rubbing soothing circles along his back.

“You are,” she promises. “You are doin’ all you can, Rick. It’s the right thing.”

* * *

“I just can’t believe he’s gone.”

Sasha has tears in her eyes, shaking her head deeply as she thinks about it. Her arms are perched on the table before her, her head resting within her hand.

Maggie sighs, nodding as she rubs the girls back. “He’s a hero,” she promises. “He saved your life.”

“I know, I know that,” Sasha agrees, swallowing thickly. “I get it, and I’m thankful for it. But I just mean, damn…He saved me. He saved us. He deserved more than to go out that way.”

“Rick’s plannin’ a memorial service soon,” Beth offers sadly. “We’re all gonna say our goodbyes.”

Sasha nods at this, running her hand through her hair. “I’m glad about that.”

“Me too.” Maggie agrees with her sentiments, smiling softly. “And I know that Bob would want it this way. Knowing the rest of you are safe, he would have wanted that.”

“Come on,” Tyreese speaks up, voice heavy with sadness. “Let’s get you to bed.”

He helps Sasha stand and together they make their way out of the room, heading for their cellblock.

Maggie sighs deeply once they’re out of earshot, turning to face her sister. “She and Bob had just started somethin’,” she admits, voice low.

Beth gasps slightly, surprised by this secret. Slowly her eyes downcast and she bites at her lip to force herself not to cry. “I always knew they were friends but I…” she pauses, shaking her head. “I feel bad for her.”

Maggie nods. “I know it’s selfish, and it probably makes me a bad person, but a part of me keeps feelin’ thankful for it bein’ Bob. It could have been _Glenn._ But then I think about how much Sasha is hurtin’ right now and I feel like the meanest person in the world for bein’ even the littlest bit relieved about it.”

“Don’t beat yourself up.” Beth is quick to shake her head, resting a comforting hand on top of her sisters own. She can feel the brunette shaking beneath her and she grips tighter. “I’d feel the same way, too. Heck, I already do,” she admits, shrugging. “But it doesn’t make us bad. It makes us human. We can grieve for a loss and praise our loved ones survival at the same time. There’s no shame in that.”

“Sounds like somethin’ momma would have said,” Maggie smiles softly through her tears.

Beth grins, her heart glowing over that particular praise, and swipes a hand across her own cheek, stopping a tear from falling.

She hugs Maggie afterwards, running her hand through the girl’s hair as she does so.

She is certainly glad it wasn’t Glenn, too.

And something within her chest—Beth recalls hugging Rick earlier, caring for his wound and pressing her head against the crook of his neck—tells her that she’s most of all glad it wasn’t him.

She isn’t quite sure why she feels the way she does, but she just knows it.

It wasn’t _Rick_.


	3. Chapter 3

“Those people—the ones that got Bob,” Maggie inquires, her gaze serious. “How many were there? You don’t think they’re a threat, do you?”

Daryl shrugs, scratching the back of his head. “There were seven of ‘em, maybe eight. No clue if there’s more out there or not.”

“They killed Bob,” Rick adds on after. “They’re a threat.”

Hershel pauses, turning from his position at the table to stare at Rick directly. “They’re miles away. For all we know they’re gone now. Are you sure this is something we pursue?”

The younger of the two nods. “They killed family,” he echoes, rubbing at his scruff thoughtfully. “They’re a threat until we know for certain that they’re gone.”

Daryl bites his lip curiously, his fingertips pattering against the table in thought. “Shit, how do we know these guys are after us?”

“How do we not?” Rick counters, jaw clenched.

Daryl seems to think on it for a moment or so, shuffling a bit in his seat, before shrugging noncommittedly. “We could always gather another away group,” he offers. “Take care of the problem.”

“We don’t know that there is a problem,” Hershel turns away. “And you want to go out there and what? Kill them all?”

“Daddy,” Maggie shakes her head softly, resting her arm upon Hershel’s shoulder. “It’s not like that.”

“Then what is it like? I’m listening Maggie, I really am. But I just don’t know if the solution is to take more lives.”

“It’s us or them,” Rick retorts, standing up from the table. “You let me know when you figure out which one is more important.”

* * *

Beth watches Maggie and Glenn eating cereal and sharing a spoon with both parts envy and love clouding her stomach.

She could thank Glenn fifty times per day for making her sister smile in such a way, every single day for the next seventy years, and it still wouldn’t feel like enough.

It’s true that Maggie hadn’t been smiling much after the outbreak, and with good reason. She’d lost just as many people as Beth had.

Sometimes she thinks back on it; usually by accident. Like, when she’s putting on her shirt in the morning and her fingertips inadvertently graze her wrist _there_. The scar is big, puffy and extended, and works as a constant reminder of what she’d almost done to herself. And to think that she’d asked Maggie to do so with her, to think that she may have taken her sister away from Glenn before they even got the chance to fall in love. It makes Beth shiver, and not in the good way.

But on the opposite spectrum, she often finds herself jealous over their love, wishing she could have for herself what they share.

“I’ll take your bowl if you’re done.”

Beth smiles warmly at Carol, handing off the container as the woman reaches for it. “Thanks,” she mumbles softly.

“You’re welcome, Beth,” the older woman chimes in in kind. “You’re on laundry duty with me today, whenever you’re ready.” Carol pats the blonde softly on her shoulder.

She nods. “I’ll be there soon. I just need to talk to Rick about somethin’ for a minute, if that’s okay?”

“Sure,” Carol agrees easily, and lets it be. For that Beth is thankful, and leaves the table with a smile.

She gives Maggie and Glenn one last glance as she passes, catching her sister’s eyes. The brunette waves, all smiles as she grabs for her gun on the table to put back into her holster.

The cool breeze hits Beth and she sighs in contentment, mostly relieved that it seems to be yet another decent day. It’d been warmer yesterday, but with how stuffy the prison has been feeling as of late, she finds that she doesn’t really mind the cooler breeze at all.

It’s a slow trek down to the field, with Beth not too concerned to get there in any hurry. She instead takes her time, admiring Rick from afar as he works hard on their crops.

It had been a great idea, really, to begin gardening. Growing their own food had been a godsend. And with Daryl regularly leaving for hunting trips and never coming back empty handed, Beth has to admit that they’ve been living quite well for the past few months or so.

Of course, that always leaves room for little intrusions of doubt to crawl in between the cracks of her mind, brushing off their good luck with constant reminders that someone could be hurt, or possibly even die, at any given moment.

And Bob’s recent loss only serves as an even more pressing reminder of this fact.

It makes it hard to keep things constantly happy and upbeat, but Beth has been doing her best.

“You look good out here,” Beth compliments, a small smile on her face as she watches Rick. She’s made it to where he’s been working, standing there with both arms crossed in front of her chest.

He fits her with a genuine smile, one that flutters her heart a bit for some strange reason, and shakes his head. “I’d probably have to disagree,” he laughs.

“No, really,” she promises, taking a few steps closer to the man. “I’ve lived on a farm my whole life and you look like you fit right in out here. You sure you were a sheriff and not a farmer?”

Rick chuckles, swiping his dirty hand through hair that has already been soaked by sweat, probably not even an hour in to him being out here. “You’re certainly full of compliments today, Beth,” he notes. “Do I ever look like a sheriff to you?”

Beth nods quickly. “Of course,” she promises. “You look like a lot of things. You’re a leader through and through. Besides, that scar you showed me the other day proves you’re a sheriff. And a brave one at that.”

He sighs deeply, eyes trailing away from Beth’s frame and off towards a patch of forest just beyond the fences. “Well I’m not a leader anymore,” he finally settles on stating.

“Just because you’re steppin’ down for a while, it doesn’t mean you’re not a leader,” she points out. “You don’t all of a sudden lose those qualities that make you one. And trust me, there are a lot of ‘em.”

He regards her once more, eyes squinting ever so gently as if to read her. “Why’re you so full of compliments today? Not that I’m mindin’ in the least bit,” he adds in afterthought.

Beth shrugs, pushing both hands into her back pocket. She tries her best not to blush, knowing that will give her away. “I’d been wantin’ to ask you somethin’,” she finally admits.

“Oh yeah?” He rests his hands on top of his shovel, posture shifting slightly as he listens. “About what?”

“About you teachin’ me how to defend myself.”

Both stare at one another, eyes unblinking, for several seconds before Rick sighs. “Beth—”

“—before you go shuttin’ me down,” she inturrupts, “Just hear me out. I feel like I deserve the chance to learn. I mean, I am an adult too and I feel like I could really start pullin’ my weight around here; do some heavier liftin’. It’s not fair to divide up the labor but give me nothin’ but laundry and cookin’. And after Bob…Well, it’s just best I learn a few things.”

“I wasn’t gonna put you down for wantin’ to learn,” he shakes his head, swiping at his sweltering brow with his gloved hand. “I just don’t know if I’m the right one to ask.”

Beth’s brows furrow as she watches him. “Why not?”

“I’m not exactly in charge anymore, Beth.” He points out once more.

She huffs indignantly, shrugging. “So?”

“So,” Rick sighs, “Maybe you should be askin’ somebody else for help. Like Daryl or Glenn.”

“But I want you to teach me,” she tells him as though it’s obvious. “I trust you more than I trust anybody else here, well except for my daddy and Maggie. Why not you?”

“I feel like you’re puttin’ more faith in me than I’ve earned,” he admits.

Beth’s frown softens as she flicks her eyes over at him, his shoulders slumping forward mildly. If there’s one thing she could wish for Rick, it would be for him to see his own strength. For some reason, it’s always been in his head, ever since she met him, that it’s his sole responsibility to take the blame for both the good and the bad things that have happened to the group.

Approaching him quietly, she places a hand tentatively on his shoulder. Much to her delight, he doesn’t pull or shield away from her touch. “Rick, you’ve been doin’ nothin’ but the best for all of us. Sure, things have happened, but at the end of the day it’s because of you we got this place up and runnin’. And it’s because of you so many of us are still alive.”

His lowered head extending slowly, he offers Beth a curious gaze. She simply stands there, allowing for Rick to watch her. It’s a bit unnerving truthfully, and she does her best not to squirm beneath his gaze, but she stays put in hopes that he might find whatever it may be he’s searching for there.

After a moment or so, it seems he does, because a warm smile replaces his worry lines. “I needed hearin’ that,” he confesses, “Thank you Beth. Again.”

Beth’s smile is large, happy to have been able to help Rick—if only for a few minutes or so—achieve some semblance of peace. “So, does that mean you’re gonna help me out?”

“I guess it does, doesn’t it?” He pats Beth’s shoulder in response. “We could go just out of the fences tomorrow, if you think you’d be up for it so soon? We can practice shootin’ a bit, but not for long. We don’t need any more walkers cloggin’ up our fences than we have already.”

Beth’s eager nod is quick and swift in response.


	4. Chapter 4

“Stay still,” Beth warns for the third or fourth time, attempting to clean Rick’s shoulder wound as he writhes in discomfort.

He’s seated before her, his shirt on the ground by their feet as she works on caring for him. Usually this would be left up to Hershel or Carol because they know more about caring for wounds than she does, but another injury this morning had left Hershel busy and Carol was off on a run, leaving Beth as the next best available option.

He’d managed to snag himself on a bit of sharp wire, cutting up his flesh as he’d been outside, clearing walkers from the fence.

He hadn’t even wanted any medical attention to begin with anyway, only finally settling down in his cell to allow Beth to help him after she had threatened to tie him down and fix it up with or without his permission.

“You almost done?” He wonders, wincing in pain as she carefully stitches up his gash. The blonde shushes him, continuing to focus on his arm.

“I would be if my patient learned to sit still,” she teases, swiftly meeting his eyes. Rick rolls his own in response, but can’t stop himself from grinning lightly.

He shakes his head, shrugging. “I think I need a sedative or somethin’. Maybe a beer,” he chuckles. Beth grins.

“Me too,” she admits, grinning sheepishly. He fits her with an amused stare, both brows raised slightly and she shrugs. “To take the edge off. I may be younger, but I know you were a teenager once. Don’t even try and pretend to tell me you’ve never drank before you were old enough to do so.”

This stops Rick from adding further to the conversation, unable to contest the truth of her words.

They continue to sit in silence for a few more minutes, Beth working steadily on his arm.

“I know it hurts,” she tells him eventually, sympathetically as they meet gazes. “But we don’t want you gettin’ infected or makin’ it worse. Let me take care of you. We need you better.”

He doesn’t really register anything she tells him next, too busy thinking about Beth Greene and her kind words and her even kinder eyes.

* * *

Carl shuffles absentmindedly on his cot, attempting to find a comfortable position as he continues to read his comics. This batch has been especially great so far, with a bunch of newer versions of Thor in the bundle, one of his favorite comic book heroes.

He’s so enthralled by the pages before him that he almost misses the soft knocking just outside of his cell. Fortunately he doesn’t and pauses his reading, getting up to pull open his privacy curtain.

Michonne grins at him from the other side, handing over a small package as she stands before him.

Carl smiles deeply as he takes it, reading over the wording on the box. “Rice crispy treats,” he grins, licking at his lips just at the thought of eating this particular snack. Michonne nods, still smiling from ear to ear, obviously pleased with her work.

“I figured you’d like it,” she tells him. Carl nods, pulling her in for a quick hug.

“Thanks Michonne.”

“No problem,” she shakes her head, patting his shoulder happily. “Beth needs you to watch Judith for a bit right now, but you can hide ‘em in your cell and have them later, alright?”

He nods easily enough, making his way back into his cell quickly to hide the food. By the time he’s found a good place and emerges from his cell once more, Beth is already standing before him with the baby in hand.

“I know it’s supposed to be your day off,” the blonde apologizes, handing over the baby, “But with Karen and Brooks out of commission, sick with somethin’ daddy thinks might be the flu, your own daddy needs a few more hands in the field and asked me if I’d help him out.”

Carl nods in response, patting his baby sister on the back as she giggles softly. For a minute or so he feels jealous, confused as to why his dad would ask Beth and not him, but he shakes it off, choosing to be happy he gets to spend time with his sister rather than upset that his father has seemed to pass him over yet again. “It’s okay,” he promises. “I like spending time with Judy.”

Beth smiles happily, both hands on her hips. “I’m glad you do. She likes it, too.”

She hands over the baby afterwards and Judith immediately begins ‘oohing’ and ‘ahhing’, her little chubby fingers grasping for Carl’s ever-growing brown locks. He laughs, grabbing her hand and kissing the palm.

“You’re good with her,” the blonde smiles, hands on her hips as she admires the pair before her.

He grins, pleased by the compliment. “I always wanted a little sister,” he admits with a gentle smile. “Never really imagined it during a world like this, but I wouldn’t trade her for anything.”

Beth nods, smiling sadly. “You’re a good brother,” she assures sincerely. “I can tell you really love her.”

“I do, I really do.”

* * *

“Seven.”

Glenn whispers quietly, more so to himself than anyone else in the block with him.

Seven cracks of thunder so far, probably even more sparks of lightning. The storm outside only seems to be growing worse.

Maggie sits beside him at the table, her own mind preoccupied watching Hershel, Tyreese, and Carl playing Go Fish off in the corner. She smiles every once in a while, shaking her head over something especially funny or enduring, and Glenn decides he could watch her like this for the rest of eternity and be satisfied in doing so.

Sometimes he thinks about life before the outbreak, back when he used to deliver pizzas for a living and struggled to pay rent for his apartment in Atlanta that had cost far more than he made. It’s during soft moments such as these, ones where the group is all together in some form or another, relaxing and simply enjoying time spent together, that he is glad for the walkers.

It’s probably stupid to think in such a way, and her certainly isn’t about to go out and start attempting to befriend them like some sort of crazy person anytime soon, but he can appreciate the life that they have brought him; the people they have brought him.

Sure, it’s not ideal. And he realizes he may lose this life at any given moment. But for now he finds contentment in little moments such as these, ones where he can freely watch Maggie smile and laugh, not a care in the world with those he loves nearby.

“Hey, Glenn!”

It’s Daryl who breaks him from his thoughts, shouting from his spot on the steps. Blinking rapidly, the younger boy turns to meet gazes with the biker.

“You in?” He asks, pointing towards his own stack of cards. Both Rick and Frank, a loner they saved while out on a run last month, sit beside him in waiting. No doubt, they’re not interested in Go Fish, but something a little more enticing.

Maggie rubs his back comfortingly, grinning as she nods. “Go on,” she tells him, “Have a little bit of fun tonight.”

Glenn smiles, bending forward to kiss her lips before pulling away and making his way over to the small gathering of men.

Not even a minute later and Beth is taking Glenn’s spot, resting her head against her sister’s shoulder.

“Nights like these,” she offers, sighing, “They’re nice.”

Maggie nods, agreeing. “They are.”

“I wish it could always be this way,” the younger of the two presses forth, sighing deeply. “Can you imagine Glenn tryin’ to help daddy barbeque back on the farm? God, momma would of loved him, you know? And it sure would have been a sight to see.”

Beth smiles as she hears Maggie laughing softly, shaking her head. Her brown locks move with her, brushing lightly against her cheeks. “I think momma would of loved ‘em all, for the most part,” she confesses, biting at her own lip thoughtfully. “Can you imagine havin’ Rick around the farm, helpin’ out with feedin’ and carryin’ bales of hay? He’d of been daddy’s lifesaver.”

The younger nods absentmindedly, suddenly lost in visions of Rick on the farm, shirtless and slinging around bales of hay. That would be quite the sight to see, she decides with a slight blush.

“Or Daryl commin’ over for Sunday brunch and trackin’ dirt all around the kitchen.” Both share a laugh at this.

Beth shakes her head, grinning. “Momma would have had a fit.”

“But she would of forgot about it seconds later, offerin’ him some of her famous peach cobbler and givin’ him that sweet ‘ol smile of hers.”

The blonde nearly salivates at the thought, licking at her suddenly dry lips. “What I’d give for a slice of momma’s cobbler,” she tells her sister, gripping her stomach in slight hunger.

Maggie nods, nearly in an equal state as her sister. “Remember that one time we went pickin’ peaches and you got so excited to show momma that you tripped over your own bag full and fell right on ‘em, squishin’ ‘em all over your Sunday dress?”

She and Beth share a loud laugh at this, one that causes a few others in the room to stop and look at them, relaxed smiles on their faces.

“She called me peaches for month afterwards,” Beth reminds her, finally settling down. She sighs softly, happy to be remembering such good times, but also suddenly feeling sad being reminded that memories like that will never happen again. “I miss her.”

Maggie swallows thickly, nodding beside her sister. She grips her hand in her own, squeezing tight. “I do too, Bethy. I do, too.”


	5. Chapter 5

If you had asked Rick a week ago to name one negative character trait associated with Beth, he would have been left scratching his head.

Really, for as far back as he can recall, she has always been nothing short of rays of light and hope—a godsend to, not only him if he’s being honest, but the entire group as well. Certainly she’s had her pitfalls; namely her mother’s death. After her suicide attempt though, Rick had watched her change, had watched her grow in both strength and spirit. But that’s the thing about Beth—she falls two steps behind, and climbs four steps back up.

Now, though?

If you were to inquire, he’d be inclined to inform you of her damn stubborn nature.

“It’s not wrong, Rick,” Beth complains, gun extended and pointing straight ahead. There’s a target not too far away, awaiting her bullet.

Rick groans, probably for the fourth or fifth time this lesson, before grabbing her wrist. “Well it’s not right,” he challenges, repositioning her grip on the firearm. “You can’t hold it like that and expect a good shot. You need to keep it level.”

“Worked the first two times,” she mumbles under her breath in response, nodding vaguely in the direction of the other targets she had already hit and knocked down.

Pinching his brow, Rick stifles any obscenities he’d normally be prone to shout. “Just go for that target, alright? You told me you wanted to learn, and I’m tryin’ to teach you.”

“Fine,” Beth agrees easily enough, although her exasperation is still evident.

Taking a step back, he crosses both arms in front of his chest and watches the blonde go to work. She takes a second to set herself up in proper position and align herself with her target before eventually pulling the trigger.

The shot misses by more than a foot and Rick bites his lip to keep from chuckling.

Beth frowns, turning so that he is in her sight. “Maybe you’re just a bad teacher,” she huffs out, not really meaning it.

Still grinning, Rick shrugs and extends his hand, signaling for Beth to hand over the weapon. “Or maybe you’re just a bad student. Now come here and help me reload this. Prove to me these lessons aren’t for nothin’. ”

“They aren’t,” she counters, moving closer to help him reload the gun. After a moment or two she sighs deeply, biting her lip before she looks up at the man, her eyes scrunching slightly due to the sun. “It’s not you. I’m just worried my best isn’t good enough, you know? I wanna help protect what’s ours, too. I’m gettin’ frustrated, is all.”

He nods, placing a comforting hand on her back. “I’m not in the best mood myself today,” he offers, “That’s not on you, that’s on me. But don’t you worry about a thing Beth, you’re a fast learner and you are helpin’ to protect what’s ours. Maybe not by fightin’ and killin’, but you are. Let the rest come with time. Let yourself focus on our lessons and put all your worries off somewhere else for now.”

She takes a moment to think about his words, ultimately realizing that he’s right. Eventually she nods, finishing up reloading the gun.

“I’ve got this,” she promises, returning her focus to the targets before her.

Rick nods as well, satisfied by her commitment.

He proceeds to watch her hit the remaining three targets, all one after the other.

* * *

“She’s not bad.”

Glenn smiles softly as he watches Beth from his position within the tower, his hands on the railing as he stands as lookout.

Maggie smiles as she stands beside him, both hands crossed in front of her chest. “She’s not,” the brunette agrees, nodding. “Daddy taught us about guns when we were younger, but he stopped huntin’ not long after Bethy turned ten. Didn’t really have a reason to learn after. Guess it’s good Rick is helpin’ her out now; God knows she’s been wantin’ someone to help her.”

Glenn nods and agrees, patting his wife on the back softly. “I know you told her no awhile back. Know that you were worried about her learning.”

“You’re right.” Maggie closes both eyes, breathin out deeply. “But I was wrong about that, she needs to learn. I can’t protect her forever and it’d be silly of me to keep pretended otherwise.”

“She’ll be okay,” he promises sincerely, pulling the girl into a quick side hug, resting his rifle against the railing. “We’ll all be okay.”

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” she whispers, lips pressed softly to his neck.

Glenn sighs deeply, kissing the side of her head. “I’m not,” he tells her in earnest. “For now, we’re all okay. That has to be enough.”

* * *

Rick settles onto his bed for the night, shucking off his boots before tossing his head back. He hits the pillow, comforted by the warmth beneath his head as he sighs deeply.

It had been a long day, that’s for certain. He’d woken up in a bad mood, struggling to find sleep the entire night, only to be alerted of a small break in one of the fences outside of the prison. He, Daryl, and Glenn had to act fast, working hard to patch up the fence before any walkers found the spot and took advantage of it.

And then there had been Beth.

She’d frustrated the hell out of him for the most part today, but not in the way she probably thinks she had.

Sure, it hadn’t helped that she’d been so stubborn for most of the day, but really that didn’t bother him. What _had_ bothered him, however, was just how much it didn’t bother him one single bit.

He found himself enjoying time spent with the young girl, hands wrapped around her own as he’d taught her how to aim, even if she had been grumpy. And Rick knows that these are bad thoughts to have, God how he knows it, but he just hasn’t been able to stop himself from thinking about her for weeks now. Ever since Bob died and he’d felt a slight shift in their relationship.

She just knows how to read him far better than he can even read himself sometimes. To be quite truthful, this fact both scares and excites him.

Beth always seems to be there whenever he needs it, a warm hand on his shoulder and tender, helpful words coming from her beautiful mouth. Sometimes he finds himself wanting to pull her close, to smother himself against her chest and just hold on tight and never let go.

Rick is able to rationalize that she’s not a child, but it still unnerves him to think about such thoughts. She’s simply a young woman trying to learn about herself and about who she is and who she would like to be. It’s already hard enough to do that in a world where the dead walk the earth and Rick doubts it’d be any easier for her knowing that she also has to worry about some old man perving over her.

He shakes his head in frustration, running his hands over his face as he yawns deeply.

If he keeps up this line of thought, he knows he’ll never get any sleep again tonight. His head already hurts, a headache beginning to pound at his head. Thoughts of Beth will just make it worse.

He rolls over, closing both eyes and attempts to stop thinking about her, about this particular situation.

Rick eventually falls to sleep, but it’s a sleep full of nightmares.

* * *

Daryl scowls, shaking his head.

“It ain’t good news,” he tells them, grumbling. “They’re stickin’ around. Ten or so of ‘em, sharin’ two houses up near Macklin. Glenn and I watched ‘em for a while. Not sure what their plans are.”

“That’s only fifteen or so minutes away,” Carol frowns deeply, biting at her lip. “We can’t just let people like that stay so close to us.”

Hershel grabs for his crutches afterwards, standing slowly and repositioning them beneath his arms.

“Where are you goin’, daddy?” Maggie wonders curiously, her gaze resting upon her father.

“You all do what you need to do,” he offers sincerely. “But please respect that I can’t be a part of it.”

They watch him slowly make his way out on his crutches, the door shutting behind him soundly. The brunette sighs deeply afterwards, turning back towards the group.

“It’s for the best,” Rick offers a quick nod at Maggie. To her right, Glenn grabs her hand within his own, hoping to comfort her the best he can.

She nods in return. “You’re right,” she supplies. “Daddy will be fine. We just need to take care of what needs to be taken care of.”

“Good,” Daryl declares, hands on the table in front of him. “How’re we gonna take care of it, exactly? Just go in and kill ‘em? Run ‘em out of town?”

Rick shrugs, rubbing at his scruff. “I’m not in charge anymore,” he points out, “This has to be a group decision.”

“They need to die,” Sasha points out afterwards, face stern. “They killed Bob for no reason; tried killing us, too.”

“Maybe they just thought we were a threat.” Tyreese points out, glancing at his sister. She shoots him a quick glare before turning away.

“It doesn’t matter,” Carol shakes her head. “You think there’s a threat, you assess it. You don’t attack an entire group just because you can.”

“I agree.” Rick echoes her sentiments, nodding. “And that’s what we’re doin’ right now, assessing these people. They’re bad people, Tyreese. They killed Bob in cold blood, and they need to be dealt with.”

No one else appears to have anything to say in response, and it seems as though their minds are made up.


	6. Chapter 6

Sasha is the one on watch duty who spots him.

She’d been checking out the area, looking through the scope of her rifle in order to have better access to the grounds laid out before her.

She wasn’t certain at first, but could have sworn she saw somebody off in the distance, somebody decidedly _not_ dead. It had taken a few minutes of looking around, but eventually she had found the movement again and spotted him; a man hiding behind a tree with a rifle in his hand, looking in on the prison.

She had called for Daryl afterwards, her heartbeat racing a mile a minute the entire time. Sasha had clued him in on what she had found and he’d taken off on his own, his tracker instincts allowing him to get a jump on the man.

“I said,” Rick growls out for the third or fourth time. “Who are you and why are you spyin’ on us?”

The dark hard man sitting before him, his hands tied behind his back and to the chair, only grins in response, spitting at the ground beside Rick’s feet. “That ain’t any of your damn business,” he responds indignantly.

Rick nods slightly at Daryl in response and the redneck nods back, punching the man square in the face afterwards.

He winces, both eyes closing tightly as blood begins pooling from within his nose. “I think you broke it!” He shouts out, pain coloring his features.

“Yeah,” Daryl shrugs. “It ain’t gonna be the only thing I break today if you don’t tell us just what in the hell you’re doin’ out there.”

“Like I said before—”

Rick pulls the safety of his gun back, the click echoing, before he points his gun at the man’s head. “You wanna try that again?”

 He shakes his head quickly, fear swarming within his eyes. “My group, they just want a place to live. Want some cute girls around to livin’ things up a bit. We followed you back after…”

“After you killed our friend?” Daryl implores. The man’s gaze lowers, his head hanging.

“Please man, don’t kill me. C’mon now.”

All Rick has to do to shoot is think about Bob.

* * *

Carol does her best to stay still, crouched behind a gathering of bushes with her gun in hand. To her left, Tyreese kneels beside her. The both of them stay as quiet as possible, waiting for their cue from Rick to press forth. Rick and Daryl are on the opposite side of the building they’ve been watching, preparing a diversion meant to pull the group of murderers out of the house they are currently holding up inside of.

Karen, Maggie, and Glenn are still in the car waiting for cues of their own.

It takes another minute or so of uneasy silence before anything begins to happen. Soon enough, the back end of the building erupts in flames and Carol and Tyreese both stand just as suddenly, raising their weapons.

Seconds later and Rick and Daryl join them, watching in anticipation as the front door opens. Several men run out through the door, shouting in confusion as they watch their fiery home, rising up in rapid flames.

“Now!” Rick shouts, voice harsh and demanding.

He’s the first to shoot, raising his weapon and aiming for the first person he sees.

The man he shoots slumps to the ground, blood spirting from his head wound. The noise draws the attention of the other men nearby and soon they’re all grabbing for their own guns, returning fire blindly.

Meanwhile Maggie, Glenn, and Karen use the car as a shield, aiming when they’re given opportunities of their own to shoot at their enemy.

Rick knows that they don’t have much time, that both the fire and noise are bound to attract walkers within minutes, and he focuses on eliminating the obstacles before him as quickly as he possibly can. He’s pretty sure he hears screaming as well, but is too preoccupied with his own job to really be sure.

Moments later and it’s over just as suddenly as it had begun.

Bob’s murderers are dead, strewn out about the lawn. The fire itself has increased, lighting up half of the house. Ashes scatter about, puffing outward and away from the house, slowly falling and covering the lawn.

“Carol,” he shouts, motioning the woman over. “Take care of the bodies, make sure they won’t be gettin’ back up anytime soon.”

She nods before taking off, pulling her knife out of its sheathe as she goes. Rick shifts direction once Carol takes off, Tyreese hot on his toes and together they run back to the car.

The first thing they notice are Maggie and Glenn embracing each other by the vehicle, looks of sorrow resting upon their faces. At their feet lies Karen, a bullet to the head. Her face is marred with blood, eyes still open wide. It’s clear she hadn’t been expecting the hit.

Tyreese freezes, his body seizing up. A sound Rick swears he’s never heard before comes out of his lips and he drops to the ground, cradling the unmoving brunette within his arms.

“Karen,” he whispers, cheeks wet with tears. “I’m so sorry, baby. I’m sorry.”

Rick steps away, unable to watch any longer.

* * *

“About that beer.”

Beth’s voice is soft as she approaches him, a peace offering in hand.

He’s sitting at one of the picnic tables just outside of the prison doors with his head in his hands. He turns to meet her gaze, eying the bottle of beer in her hand before nodding briefly.

She sets it in front of him, taking a seat by his side.

Rick grabs the bottle moments later, twisting off the cap before he takes a long pull, allowing the liquid to make its way down his throat.

“Where’d you find this at?” He asks her.

She shrugs. “Stole a bottle from Daryl’s stash,” she admits a bit sheepishly. “Figured you could use it right now more than he could.”

He nods, fingers playing absentmindedly with the neck of the bottle. “Everything went right today,” he begins, licking softly at his lips. “It all went right…and then it didn’t.”

Beth sighs. “It’s not on you.”

“I gave the command to shoot. It was my idea to go there, to kill those people.” His voice is louder than it normally is around Beth and she finds herself flinching slightly, surprised by his outburst. “This…this is on me.”

“Maybe it is,” she agrees afterwards, grabbing for Rick’s beer. Before he has the chance to stop her or tell her not to, she takes a sip of her own. “Or maybe it just happened. You know, good plans can change, Rick. Good ideas aren’t immune to a casualty or two. Everyone who went with you today knew what they were gettin’ themselves into. You included.”

He’s almost surprised by her response, by the strength and conviction within her tone.

“I just,” he pauses, shaking his head. “I want somethin’ to go right for once.”

“Things have gone right,” she points out afterwards. “But people tend to focus on the bad more so than the good. You could do ten-thousand great things and still find yourself wonderin’ ‘what went wrong’ over that one damn mistake. It’ll drive you crazy if you let it, Rick. Please don’t let it do that to you.”

He is about to reply when the door to the prison opens. Both of them turn at the same time, watching as Michonne exits through the entrance. She makes her way over to the twosome, seating herself on the opposite side.

She raises her brow, nodding in the direction of the beer. “Interesting way to solve your problems,” she offers.

Rick sighs deeply, pinching at the spot in between his brow. He can feel a headache already coming on. “It was that or wine, and wine is shit.”

This causes her to snort softly, shaking her head. “Maggie’s been lookin’ for you,” she tells Beth afterwards, turning to look at the blonde.

Beth nods, rubbing Rick’s thigh quickly beneath the table, hoping to comfort him, before she stands and walks away.

He swallows thickly, his leg tingling in the spot she had just caressed. He can’t help in feeling stupid for being so affected by such a simple touch. But it had been Beth’s touch, and that’s what counts.

“How’re you holding up?”

Michonne’s question takes his mind off of Beth and his leg and her gentle hands. He frowns deeply, taking another drink of his beer. “I’ve been better,” he tells her honestly.

“You’ve been worse, too.” She reminds him with a stern look.

He nods eventually, pushing the beer across the table towards her but she shakes her head no, declining his invitation. Shrugging, he downs the rest of the bottle.

“Doesn’t stop it from hurtin’ like a bitch,” he reminds her.

Michonne nods before standing.

“Fair enough,” she gives in with a nod before walking off, leaving Rick to his thoughts.

* * *

As Daryl shovels graves for both Bob and Karen, Rick watches on with sorrowful eyes. He watches Sasha and Tyreese as they comfort each other by the graves, watches as Maggie picks wild flowers and sets them on top of the freshly dug earth. He listens to Hershel’s sermon, closes both eyes and says ‘amen’ after the prayer.

It just doesn’t seem to make any sense. Things had been going so well at the prison, things had been good. And now he just feels lost. He thinks maybe they all do, in one way or another.

Rick chances a glance at Beth, biting his lip as he spots her standing by Maggie. She’s wearing a flowing, simple white dress and he has to admit that she appears absolutely beautiful. She’d told him she wanted to wear it to honor their lives, opting out of the traditional black because it should be a celebration of life and not a mourning of death.

It is precisely the reason he finds himself so drawn to her. Everything she says, every time she smiles his way, he finds himself being pulled further and further in. She’s everything pure in this world he could ever wish for and only dream of for himself to be.

He’s darkness, but with Beth around things become a little bit lighter.


	7. Chapter 7

When the door to the watch tower begins to creak open ever so slightly, Beth doesn’t bother turning towards the sound.

She already knows that it’s Rick who will be standing there.

“You should talk to daddy about your sleepin’ problem,” she teases slightly, finally turning to meet his eyes. “See if there isn’t anythin’ he can give you to help you sleep better.”

Rick snorts slightly in response before shaking his head and running a hand through his curly hair. “Don’t know if that’d do much help.”

Closing the door soundly, Rick makes his way through the small tower.

They have been doing this for a few days or so now, maybe even a week. He’s taken to pretending to have trouble sleeping at night in order to come up here and watch over her as she sits, posted on guard duty. Not that Beth would ever actually tell Rick that she knows he’s been lying to her.

Really, she finds it mainly enduring.

At first though she had been annoyed. Beth had assumed that he had been out here because he didn’t have any faith in her abilities to keep watch. It had already been a struggle to convince Hershel she’d be fine up here, and the last thing she had needed was Rick breathing down her neck, too. But after a few nights spent together—talking and learning more about each other as a way to pass the time—it had become relatively apparent that he had more than enough faith in her.

Rick trusted her in protecting their family, but he wanted to be there so someone could protect her, too.

This realization had sent a thrill through Beth once she had comprehended as much.

Still, both have stuck to acting as if Rick actually has troubles with sleep—truthfully he probably does anyway, with all of the things he’s responsible for around here, leader of the group or not—never bothering to broach the truths behind Rick’s motives.

Beth secretly fears that bringing it up in Rick’s presence will push him away and he’ll stop coming around to meet her here.

His feet move swiftly beneath himself as Rick begins walking towards the corner of the room. There’s a small bench set up and it’s apparent he’s planning to sit there.

“You might wanna avoid sittin’ over that way,” Beth offers, her head nodding in that direction. There is a small pile of blankets on top of the bench, ones he’d have to move to sit there. His brow raises curiously in response so Beth elaborates. “Maggie and Glenn were in here earlier. Somethin’ about soothin’ her wounds.”

Her sister had ended up twisting her ankle pretty bad earlier this morning, missing a pretty large hole in the ground nearby one of the fences where she’d been clearing.

Finally registering Beth’s implications, Rick nods uncomfortably and turns from her gaze to avoid her spotting his red cheeks. He doesn’t often blush, and to be doing so in front of her only makes the heat burn warmer. “You shouldn’t even know about what they’re doin’ in here,” he responds despite knowing perfectly well that it’s a blatant lie.

Mostly he’s just hoping to sooth his own discomfort, confident that reminding Beth of her youth will keep her from becoming privy to the knowledge that Rick actually finds her to be growing into a beautiful young woman—her beauty a danger to Rick’s psyche, already affecting him more than he’d like to admit. Especially as of late, now that he’s gotten to know her better as a person.

Rerouting his body, Rick instead makes his way closer to the blonde. He ultimately settles for leaning against a wall nearby.

“Rick, I’m eighteen, not eight,” she laughs, shaking her head. “You start learnin’ all about sex from a young age these days, or at least you used to before the outbreak.” Beth points out conversationally. She’s embarrassed to have said this, but pushes forward because more of her likes being able to talk this way with him than is self-conscious about it.

“Even me, and I’m the daughter of God-fearin’ Hershel Greene. School buses will do that to you,” she jokes in afterthought, hoping to keep her tone light.

Despite his mild discomfort with their current conversation, Rick finds himself laughing softly. “Maybe it’s not so bad we got walkers now,” he jokes playfully. “If it means keepin’ Carl far away from all those school kids with their big mouths.”

Beth laughs at this, shaking her head. “You do know Carl probably already knows all about it, right?”

Nodding, Rick concedes. “Oh, I don’t have any doubts about that. But he’s still too young to be hearin’ it from me. I’d prefer waitin’ until he was thirty to talk about that, but it might be too late and pointless by then.”

“Probably,” Beth agrees easily. Inwardly she’s feeling mildly in disbelief that Rick would even entertain this particular conversation with her at all. Just saying the word sex in front of him minutes ago had nearly caused her to blush scarlet, but she’d done her best to keep it hidden. She can only hope it might mean that he doesn’t view her as the kid she knows everyone else around here still sees her as.

“Yeah, my daddy gave me the sex talk when I was fifteen,” she tells Rick honestly. “It was horrible. He brought me into church to speak with both him and the pastor and they kept remindin’ me over and over that God is always watchin’ me and that he’d know it if I sinned.”

She smiles fondly at the memory. Certainly it had been mortifying when it first happened—Maggie still to this day hasn’t let her live it down; Beth coming home from the church nearly cationic with embarrassment. But now? She’d give a lot to have that life back.

“Sounds like Hershel,” Rick chuckles with the shake of his head.

He does his best to not let her words linger, hoping to shake off any thoughts of sex and Beth. Especially because she is currently in the flesh, standing before him. Inevitably however, these words only lead to memories in his bunk late at night, shamefully touching himself with his curtains closed and visions of the blonde behind both closed lids.

He knows they’re wrong, both the thoughts and his desires. Rick almost blames them on his going mad, but they feel far too real to simply be a figment of his haunted consciousness. There’s something deeper there, something he hadn’t been aware of until he’d started spending more time with her. She’d been a good soul from the beginning; that much he knew. But getting to know her these past few months has been a new experience in itself.

Beth is similar to a book on his bookshelf—bought long ago but neglected for some time—that he’d eventually opened only to discover the most beautiful words, the grandest adventure, he’s ever experienced.

A soft silence settles in after his chuckles subside and Rick inwardly wonders if it would be inappropriate to continue this particular topic of conversation with the young woman. He tries telling himself that she’s just a kid, but the words don’t sit right within his mind. Probably because he realizes they’re untrue.

“You know,” he finally plucks up the courage to continue, pausing slightly to cough and clear his throat. “My dad gave me the talk when I was seventeen. It was after I started datin’ my first girlfriend,” he confides to Beth.

She smiles softly, nodding and giving him the chance to continue. Her heart melts as she listens, happy at his choice to share with her in the same way she’d just shared with him.

“He didn’t know it then but I’d already slept with her,” Rick tells her with a quick shrug. “It’d been stupid, too. I’d barely known her for more than two weeks. But Shane, he’d convinced me to do it, to buck up and be a man about it.”

Beth bites her lip, nodding slowly as she regards Rick. It’s the first time she’d heard him mention Shane since he’d confessed to killing him all those months ago. She doesn’t even think he realizes he said it, the words just slipping out past both lips because they’d felt so natural.

“Sounds kind of like the Shane I knew on the farm.” She hopes that her words will not offend Rick. Things had ultimately gotten about as bad as they could get between the two, but they still considered each other best friends for the majority of their lives. She figures there are some form of remaining feelings there, no matter how things had ended up.

Shrugging, Rick swipes his hand over the scruff on his chin and takes her words in stride. “Sometimes,” he agrees, “But he wasn’t always like that, you know? He had his moments.”

“He did save my life once so I guess I can see why you’d say that.”

Beth doesn’t elaborate and Rick finds he doesn’t need her to. He still remembers the entire barn incident clear as day. Finding out Sophia had been in that barn the whole time had been a huge blow to the entire group. Having to shoot her in walker form had been painful, but it needed to be done. And then watching Beth’s mother reanimate right in the blondes lap, grabbing hold of her and nearly biting her in the process had all been hell. But Shane had been there, along with a few others including Rick, to pull the girl to safety.

Realizing that this is the first time he’s really spoken or thought of Shane in months, he decides he’s had enough and moves away from this particular subject.

“Anyway,” Rick shakes it off, pressing forth with his story. “After I had the talk with my dad, I’d felt so guilty about lyin’ to him that I broke up with that girl and didn’t start datin’ anyone new again until Lori came along.”

Rick can remember it quite vividly, meeting Lori and falling in love with her; having Carl and being happy for some period of time. There’s a slight ache in his chest as he thinks about it, but for once it isn’t quite the stabbing pain it had used to be—more so an ache for the love he once had and not the love he had lost down there on the boiler room floor.

“You were lucky to have had each other,” Beth mumbles softly, her eyes moving away from him to trail absentmindedly along the cement floor of the watch tower. There’s the ghost of a smile playing upon her lips as she begins to count out the cracks she finds there.

“For a period of time we were,” Rick agrees, pressing his hands into his pockets as he stands there.

“I never really talked about it before, but things weren’t goin’ too good even before the outbreak,” he admits with honestly. Truthfully, he has never really spoken these words aloud before, but can admit that it feels good to be finally sharing these particular feelings. “We’d probably be divorced by now, to be honest.”

This causes Beth’s smile to falter slightly. “I’m sorry,” she replies.

Shaking his head, Rick waves her off. “Nothin’ to be sorry for.”

“For what it’s worth, Lori was real great to me while we knew each other.” Again, Beth’s nerves begin fluttering, hoping she hasn’t crossed over any boundaries Rick may have set up. Remembering the weird gaze she’d received in response of her admittance to Rick that Judith had Lori’s eyes floats through her memories briefly.

Rick nods slowly in response, his own form of thanks, but Beth can tell that he would rather move on to a different topic. She smiles slightly, biting her lower lip. And then she asks suddenly, “You only ever slept with that girl and Lori?”

Blindsided by the sudden change—or rather return—in topic, Rick simply stands there, blinking Beth’s way for a few seconds in attempt to wrap his mind around the question she’d just inquired of him.

Suddenly embarrassed over having just blurted that out loud, Beth blushes red. “God, Rick,” she shakes her head, “I have no clue what just came over me. I can’t believe I just asked that, please don’t tell me anythin’, it was completely out of line.”

“Beth,” Rick interrupts carefully, waving his hand in front of her face in hopes of breaking her from her rambling, “Beth, stop it, it’s fine.”

“No it’s not,” Beth hides her face, absolutely mortified.

With a deep exhale, Rick gestures slowly. “It is,” he promises. “You’re just curious,” he shrugs as though that’s all. Inwardly he’s nearing a heart attack, not quite sure how to read these turn of events, almost fearful of what Beth may be feeling for him in return.

They’d gone from sexual to sentimental back to sexual in the span of a few minutes. Eyeing Beth over curiously, Rick wonders just what her intent might be in asking such a question.

“Just those two,” he finally responds, the temptation in needing to know her motives outweighing any of Rick’s reserves.

Her cheeks still red, Beth eyes Rick over with mild suspicion. She’s still embarrassed, certainly, but more so in disbielf over him having actually answered the question. Secretly, Beth hopes it means she’s right, that Rick might be feeling something deeper for her in the same way she’s been feeling about him for a while now.

It makes sense, she reasons, even if he is far older than her. They’d been spending more time together recently, much more than usual. Mainly in the middle of the night in the dark of the watch tower, much like their current predicament.

Not to mention they’d been spending more time with one another during the day as well. Where Beth used to great Rick with a quick hello in the morning before taking off with Judith, they’d recently began spending a half hour or so together during breakfast. Sometimes Beth would follow Rick out into the fields after, Judith on her hip, with the twosome watching Rick and Carl hard at work planting crops. And he’s still been teaching her to shoot and fight, too.

“I’ve never been with anyone,” Beth trembles timidly, figuring the worst that can come from sharing this is Rick simply nodding her way, acknowledging her admittance briefly, before either changing the subject or leaving her be for the night and returning to his cell.

Rick’s breath hitches slightly upon hearing Beth speak these words. He forces himself to look away, eyes traveling everywhere around the room but at the blonde as he attempts to take in this newfound information.

Rick would have figured she’d have been with Jimmy before the outbreak—or would have had he, you know, ever actually thought about it. He’d swear up and down to you he has never, despite knowing better. They’d been shameful thoughts, mostly pondered late at night in his bunk with his curtains drawn and desire in full swing.

“You’re a…” Rick pauses, his mind willing himself to abort this particular discussion, “…You’re a virgin, then?”

He should have known libido would eventually win out over reason.

“Yeah,” Beth confirms with a small shake of the head, suddenly nervous. She’d been thinking about moments like this happening for a while now, daydreaming about the day Rick would finally realize his love for the girl and sweep her off her feet. But they’d been just that—dreams.

Now? With Beth standing timidly near Rick, her hands clasped in front of her stomach as she watches him taking in her admittance of having no previous sexual experience, she’s terrified to say the least. Dreams are easy. Reality is much messier, full of fear and uncertainty and potential heartbreak.

“Beth, I don’t know what you’re wantin’ of me right now,” Rick gulps with honesty, his voice hesitant.

Rick’s uncertain if he can actually do this; go through with it.

He wants her, God how he does, but the shame is nearly overwhelming him. He shouldn’t be having sinful thoughts about such a young girl.

“I’m not a little kid,” Beth tells Rick with a slight shrug, almost as if reading his mind. “I know you probably see me like that, like some dumb farm girl, but I’m not blind, Rick. I know you like me, too.”

“I don’t see you like that,” Rick defends quickly, moving closer to the girl to grasp her shoulder in reassurance. Both realize nearly instantaneously that he never bothers to deny her second assumption.

Hell, even if Rick had plans to lie to her and bow out now, he’d never have been able to get those words out past both lips; to look her in the eye and tell her he doesn’t like her would have been unimaginable to even fathom.

“Rick,” Beth whispers, her hand trailing along her arm and meetings Rick’s own, the one still resting along her shoulder. Clasping his fingers loosely within hers, she sighs softly.

Rick doesn’t resist, doesn’t try to pull back.

Any thoughts he’d been having previously, all of his reservations about Beth, seem to fall from his body upon contact. Rick bends forward and places a soft kiss to her lips.

Pulling back after, Beth’s grin is wide and her happiness is evident within her large, blue orbs as she watches Rick watching her.

“I’m still not sure this is a good idea,” Rick speaks lowly, not making to move away from the girl despite his contradicting words.

“Can you ever really be sure?” Beth asks him in response. “You never know how somethin’ll work out until you try it.”

“You’re wise for your age,” Rick smiles, repeating his sentiments from weeks ago before pushing the girl’s hair back from out of her face and planting a long kiss to her forehead. “Beth, I’ve gotta be honest with you. I’ve been feelin’ somethin’ for you for a while now,” he admits.

Pulling away far enough to look him in the eyes, Beth can’t stop her knowing grin from spreading wide. “Rick, I’ve had a crush on you ever since we moved into the prison,” she divulges, the butterflies within her stomach working overtime as they flutter about.

“I’ve just been worryin’ about your age,” he presses forth. “And about Hershel findin’ out about it. Beth I—”

“Hey, hey,” she interrupts his rant, placing both hands against either side of his face, “It doesn’t matter,” Beth promises sincerely, “I’m eighteen, I’m an adult, and I can do what I please with other adults, as I please.”

Unable to stop the slight smile from spreading across his face, Rick looks down at Beth in admiration. “Hershel still won’t like it.”

“Well daddy is just gonna have to learn how to,” she shrugs easily. “Besides, he wants me to be happy, I know it.”

“And you think I could make you happy?” Rick asks her skeptically.

Sighing, Beth is quick to place another small kiss against Rick’s lips. “Of course you can” she tells him, her forehead now pressing against his shoulder. “You’ve already been makin’ me happy for a long while now, and I’m confident that isn’t gonna change. Rick, please.”

“God Beth,” Rick mumbles, lips pressed against the top of her head. “Come here,” he finally decides, pulling the blonde closer and connecting their lips.

His beard scratches her skin slightly, something she realizes will take some getting used to, but Beth is too preoccupied by Rick’s lips against her own to mind too much.

His hands are firm and coarse as they make their way through her hair, pulling just hard enough to cause a slight pinch but she finds she likes it, her body tingling as he pulls her closer and cups the back of her head, forcing their lips closer together.

Her lips tingle as they caress his own and a fiery ball of passion builds within her stomach, causing her muscles to tense as they stand there and kiss.

She’s just about to reach forward, to clasp the top button of his flannel in between her fingertips, when the first gunshot rings out.


	8. Chapter 8

Rick pulls Beth to the floor of the tower in an instant, shielding her smaller frame beneath his own.

“Rick,” she frowns, blinking up at him confusion. “What was that? What’s goin’ on?”

He shakes his head, clueless, his own mind working a mile a minute to try and assess the situation. “Couldn’t be one of our own,” he supplies eventually. “They’d know to never shoot in the direction of the prison.”

She shiver beneath him, suddenly feeling ten times more anxious. “Someone’s after us?”

He sighs before nodding softly, frowning. “Could be,” he admits sincerely. “We got rid of the men who killed Bob, but…”

“But?”

She tries not to think about the words ‘ _we got rid of’_ , pushing those thoughts away as swiftly as she can.

“There could have been more.” Rick admits this gruffly, his arms grasping Beth by the shoulders. “I’m not sure if it’s the case but, regardless, we need to get the hell out of here and figure out what’s goin’ on.”

Another shot goes off seconds later, causing the blonde to jump nervously. Rick helps her to her feet, his hand clasped within her own as they make their way down the steps of the tower.

He pauses, exhaling deeply before turnings to scan his eyes over the girl standing before him. “Whatever happens, remember that I care about you.”

She nods numbly, kissing his lips—the ones she had just gotten to experience only moments ago for the very first time. Backing away, Rick takes a deep breath as he pulls his gun from its holster, motioning for her to do the same. Together they slam open the door, scanning the scenery before them before they turn and run in the direction of the prison.

Beth barely registers any of it, still completely confused and overwhelmed. The last thing she can remember clearly is kissing Rick in the tower, feeling euphoric as his lips had pressed against her own, body close to hers. She’d nearly been able to feel his heartbeat, it had been beating so loudly. It had been beautiful.

This isn’t beautiful.

It feels like time stands still as they make their way through the grassy field, too scared to flick her eyes behind her to see what’s waiting for them out there.

She grips his hand tighter as they run, her blond ponytail swinging behind her as she goes.

Eventually they make it to the prison entrance, knocking forcefully before prying open the door.

“Where were you?” Hershel asks nervously, helping Daryl to close the door back up behind them.

“Watch tower.” Beth responds out of breath. She kneels over to catch her breath as her sister makes her way over to her side, rubbing her back soothingly.

Rick nods. “I’d just went up there to check on her when it happened.”

She knows that’s not necessarily true but isn’t about to correct his fib anytime soon, instead continuing to focus on her breathing.

“What in the hell is going on?” He asks afterwards, peering around in confusion.

“The damn group that got Bob,” Daryl snaps. “Michonne saw ‘em headin’ up this way while she was out on the horse. Came back just in time to warn us. They spent a lot of time at that house we burnt up, Rick. They’re pissed.”

He shakes his head, eyes narrowing. “Dammit,” he frowns, his hands clasping into fists. “How’d we miss ‘em?”

Daryl shrugs, slinging his bow onto his back. “Must of split up into different homes. We missed it.”

Rick nods although he doesn’t like that response one bit. Missing things gets people killed.

A few more gunshots blast off, causing a few of the Woodbury survivors who had gathered around to take back off for their cell, no doubt preparing themselves to leave the situation.

“Maybe they just want the prison,” Hershel frowns deeply. “Maybe if we just stay put and protect ourselves, they’ll eventually leave us be.”

Daryl takes a moment to glance outside, his gun raised as he takes in the view. Closing the door back up, he shakes his head. “The kind of force power they got out there, they ain’t interested in livin’ anywhere,” he spits out angrily, wiping his sweaty brow off with the back of his hand as he faces the older man standing before him. “They’re just interested in takin’ out as many people as they can before they go themselves. Add on top of that the fact that they’re pissed as hell we killed their men. Rick, we gotta go man.”

Hershel sighs deeply before eventually nodding, grabbing his gun from his holster. “This place isn’t gonna hold that much longer,” he admits angrily. “It won’t be long now ‘till they make their way inside; ‘till the walkers make it up here, too. Daryl is right.”

Just then another set of gunfire goes off and a window nearby the perch Daryl had been living in breaks, shattering glass and sending it to the floor.

Beth tenses up in fear, shielding her eyes from the blowback. “Maggie,” she whispers, grabbing her sister by the hand. “Watch the kids, you’re in no shape to go out there and fight right now with your bad ankle.”

Her sister attempts to protest, her mouth opening to do so, but Glenn shakes his head no, grasping her shoulder and squeezing gently. “Beth is right,” he tells her. “You won’t be fast enough. Stay and take care of the kids. Get them out of here. I’ll have Ty stay with you for protection. Please.”

Maggie eventually concedes, a few tears dripping from her eyes and down her cheeks, falling upon her maroon shirt. “I love you,” she cries, cupping his face within her hands. Glenn whispers the same back as they share a quick kiss.

Beth and Maggie hug afterwards, arms wrapping around each other sadly.

Eventually the blonde pulls back, taking the gun Daryl offers her before heading off with the group for outside.

The older of the two siblings stays behind, watching nervously and with fear in her eyes. Tyreese approaches her moments later, slinging his arm over her shoulder. “We need to get going,” he tells her.

She nods sadly, taking off with him for the cellblock.

* * *

By the time the group makes it to the fences, weapons in hand, the men outside have already begun to tear down their front row of protection, tearing through their walls with vehicles and metal cutters and their sheer anger and willpower.

For a moment Beth is frightened to death by the sight, her fingers trembling against the trigger of her gun. She wants nothing more than to run back inside to safety and most likely find her sister and Tyreese and take off with them and the kids without having to battle. Then she meets Rick’s gaze, his eyes on her own, silently telling her it will all be okay, and she knows that she needs to say.

She knows that she can do this, that she’s been trained well enough to be able to help out.

Beth doesn’t remember much afterwards, too busy firing her gun at the strangers invading their home.

It doesn’t take long for them to grow closer, firing back just as much as they shoot at them. Beth swallows thickly, hiding herself behind a section of old metal siding, her breathing heavy as bullets fly past her. Sneaking a quick look back out, she raises her gun and shoots. Someone nearby falls to the ground, clutching at their thigh and she feels a surge of success flow through her body.

The triumph doesn’t last long however as, seconds later the fencing keeping her family separate from their invaders begins to crash down. Beth hadn’t realized just how close they’d managed to get. She turns while raising her gun, but finds herself rooted to the spot the moment she sees Hershel, his crutch long forgotten on the ground, and a man holding a gun to his head with an ugly smirk upon his features.

“Daddy!” Beth shouts, her heart dropping into her stomach.

Before he can respond, before she can tell him that she loves him, the man pulls the trigger and Hershel drops lifelessly to the ground.

Beth feels as though she cannot breathe, like all of the air in her lungs is sucked out with the bullet now resting inside of her father’s head. 

Caught off guard, unmoving and unbreathing, the next thing Beth knows she’s taking the butt of a gun to the head, her vision clouding as she drops to the ground. She finds herself hoping that her daddy will be there waiting to welcome her home as things slowly begin to grow black.

When she comes to minutes later—hours perhaps, or even days. To her it feels like days—Sasha is standing above her, pouring a bit of water over her forehead to help cool her down. “We need to leave Beth, _now_.”

The blonde attempts to stand but her head doesn’t want to let her, growing fuzzy the second she attempts to move. The next thing she knows she’s being picked up by strong arms and held tight.

For a minute she thinks of Rick but she can already tell it isn’t him. Blinking her eyes open slowly she spots a flash of dark brown hair, of a dirty face and a large scowl.

She closes her eyes once more afterwards, allowing her body to drift off to the sleep it so desperately needs. It may not be the most convenient thing in the world, but she knows she will be safe with Daryl.

He carries her off wordlessly, Sasha hot on their heels.


	9. Chapter 9

Sasha watches the sun setting with a sense of apprehension gnawing at her chest.

Hands tucked back behind her head, she rests on the cool ground and regards the sky. The wind is chilly and tickles her flesh, causing goose bumps to rise but it isn’t cold enough to really bother her much. At least not anymore, after having spent two winters in the woods. She can handle the cold far better now than she ever could five years or so ago.

She thinks about Tyreese, wonders where he is and if he may be looking back up at this very same sky in this very same moment. The dark haired girl just knows he is still alive, she can feel it deep within her bones, but not knowing where is pretty much the same as not knowing at all.

She sighs deeply, tapping her fingertips along the back of her head as she continues to reminisce. Sasha can still smell the smoke, can still hear the gunfire, even though it’s been weeks ago by now.

The prison was supposed to be their home and their safe haven.  Thinking back on it now she becomes just as angry as she had been after it first happened. She is angry for allowing those people to take from her, from them all, their sanctuary. But more than that, she grieves for the loss of their lives.

Sasha knows she is still physically alive, but this sure isn’t living.

“Penny for your thoughts?”

Beth’s voice startles her, makes her sit up and reach instinctively for the knife sheath on her belt before she realizes who it is and calms back down. Sasha offers the blonde a small apologetic smile before she shrugs and begins to fiddle with one of the belt loops on her pants.

“My daddy used to tell me that talkin’ about it can make you feel better,” she presses forth, bottom lip rolling in between her lips nervously.

Sasha decides that she can’t deny Beth, not when her words are spoken with such sadness. She knows the younger girl must be thinking of her own family right now, too.

“It’s Ty,” she admits, voice hoarse. “Just worrying over things I can’t control.”

Beth nods understandingly. “I’ve been thinkin’ about Maggie a lot lately, too,” she confesses, rubbing a dirty hand across her cheek to swipe a loose strand of hair from out of her face.

“It’s hard,” Sasha whispers after, turning away from the blonde females penetrating gaze. The last thing she wants to do is break down in front of somebody else, and especially not Beth. She feels as though she has to stay strong for the both of them.

Beth is just about to say something else, her lips parting slightly, when a shuffling in the wood calls to her attention. Both she and Sasha are on their feet in seconds, hands grasping for their weapons.

It’s only after Daryl lumbers out from the heavy brush, a collection of squirrels tied to his rope and hanging from his back that they lower their weapons.

“Could you be any louder?” Sasha wonders, rolling her eyes as she snaps her gun back into its holster.

He watches her for a moment or two, fingers wrapped tight around his crossbow and the string, keeping both in place before he shrugs. “You wanna eat or not?”

She frowns, conceding before she walks over to help Daryl take care of his catches. Fighting isn’t worth it these days, at least not over something so insignificant.

Beth watches from the sideline, twiddling her thumbs absentmindedly as she looks over at the twosome fast at work.

“How’d you learn to skin squirrels?” She wonders a moment after, her nose scrunching in disgust as she watches both Sasha and Daryl working to remove the animal’s fur.

Daryl shrugs, wiping at his brow before he throws Beth a fleeting glance. “You learn how to skin one animal, it’s all pretty much the same from there.”

The blonde nods, crossing her arms in front of her chest as she continues to observe.

“Why don’t you get a fire started?” Sasha asks soon after.

Beth nods, happy to be given a role. The last thing she would ever want is to become a burden to the group. She’s quick to round up a few sticks nearby, careful not to disturb the line of cans they have set up as a form of perimeter around the trees they’re stationed nearby.

By the time she has the fire going and it’s finally hot enough to use, Daryl and Sasha have the squirrels ready to cook. Daryl prepares the meal, making sure the meat is nice and ready to be eaten. Food poisoning could set them back and that would be the last thing they’d need.

“Smells good,” Beth admits, sitting cross-legged by the fire. “Never thought I’d be admitin’ to that,” she declares with a slight laugh.

Sasha chuckles, Daryl grunts, and Beth figures that is more than good enough response for her. Just knowing that the both of them are still fighting to survive has her heart thumping louder in her chest, beating so fast it nearly jumps out. Fighting to survive means fighting to find family. Fighting to find family means the chance of finding Maggie and Glenn and Tyreese and Rick and Carol and everybody else out there somewhere.

All three dig into their meal the minute it’s finished, just now realizing how hungry they actually are.

* * *

“It’s alright Judith, it’s alright little one.”

Tyreese’s voice is smooth and gentle, probably absurd to witness for anyone that doesn’t know him personally. You would never figure someone with such a tall stature, such strength, to be so docile in nature. 

Fortunately, Maggie does know him. And she finds herself smiling softly in his direction as he continues to coddle the whimpering baby, doing his best to calm her down.

She has to admit that a part of her resents being stuck with them while her sister and husband are still out there somewhere, hopefully uninjured or worse. Babies can be time consuming and loud and Judith has definitely caused her fair share of troubles for the past few weeks. But then she remembers happier times involving the little brunette, like whenever her big cheeks are all plumped up tight in a smile, and her heart warms over. Maggie figures she will take all the good she can get in this life, and Judith Grimes is certainly a good thing.

“Maggie.” To her right a small blonde girl begins pulling on her sleeve gently. “I’m hungry.”

The brunette mopes, sighing deeply before dropping lower to become eye level with Mika. “We have to keep going for now,” she tells her sadly. “I’m sure we’ll find berries we can pick along the way though, alright?”

At Mika’s bright smile and quick nod, Maggie’s heart both breaks and soars. The truth is, they’ve been low on food for the past few days. It’s been tough, but Tyreese has faith that they’re nearby a town. And towns mean houses and houses hopefully mean food. Maybe even people.

It is what she finds herself praying for, anyhow.

“You know,’’ Maggie begins, suddenly unnerved by the silence of the night, “Whenever Judith was actin’ up for Beth she’d sing her a song.”

“Lizzie loves Beth’s songs,” Mika interjects, grinning quickly before her lips fall into a frown. She doesn’t say anything more, turning her body away, and Maggie believes that maybe she is thinking about her own sister, too, and worrying about where she may be.

Tyreese pauses thoughtfully, glancing her way before shrugging. “Couldn’t hurt,” he supposes afterwards.

 _Sleep, baby, sleep_  
Thy father tends the sheep  
Thy mother shakes the dreamland tree  
And down fall pleasant dreams for thee  
Sleep, baby, sleep  
Sleep, baby, sleep

* * *

“Stay quiet.”

Rick’s voice comes out barely above a whisper, his eyes landing sternly upon Carl’s smaller frame. Both men have their knives in hand, ready to use if need be.

He does his best to tell himself that Carol and Glenn are fine, that they heard the walkers nearby and are stationed somewhere separately, their own weapons raised at the ready.

The twosome had went off on their own, venturing through the woods and looking for any signs of life and for food to eat. They haven’t been gone long and Rick reasons that they could still be in the nearby area.

“How many are there, dad?” Carl questions nervously, tugging his hat on tighter as he glimpses in his father’s direction. Rick chances another glance around the tree he’s hiding behind, snapping his head back soon after.

“Five or six,” he responds, swiping at his brow and collecting a pool of sweat upon his palm as he does so. “You think you can help me out here? Take ‘em all down?”

Carl nods, chest heaving. Rick can tell that his son is nervous, but he also knows that Carl has experience dealing with these types of things. Certainly it’s not the life he would have liked for his son, but it’s the life they’ve both been given and he’ll be damned to let Carl be taken from him now, or vice versa.

“Shout if you need me, you got that?”

At his sons nod, Rick counts to three silently before nodding in Carl’s direction, notifying him to emerge from behind the tree.

It doesn’t take very long at all for all six of the walkers to spot them, their hands raised and mouths agape and dripping blood and ooze as they mumble and groan.

Rick has two down for the count before Carl is finished with his first, finally able to push the heavyset walker to the ground and stab his knife through its head. It makes a sickening crack and he chokes back vomit, wiping off the blood on his pant leg. He makes his way towards the next closest to him after, shoving that one to the ground before fatally stabbing it beneath the jaw.

Carl is left breathing heavily and on his knees as his father kills the remaining two with ease, pushing their corpses to the side afterwards.

“You alright?” He asks Carl, a gentle hand resting upon his shoulder.

 _No_. Carl thinks to himself. _I’m tired_.

“I’m fine dad,” he promises, nodding.

Tired just isn’t a word that exists in this world anymore.


	10. Chapter 10

“Mika, you doin’ alright?”

Maggie can hear the tired, ragged breathing of the young girl behind her and she pauses for the fourth or fifth time, turning around to look the young girl over.

“I’m okay,” Mika nods, although her posture indicates something different. She’s bent over, clutching her stomach. Something in Maggie’s gaze must make her realize she needs to tell the truth, and soon she’s moping before she shrugs lightly. “It’s a lot of walking,” she admits.

The brunette sighs, watching her for a moment or two before she nods. “I know Mika, and I’m sorry about that. I just want to get us to a house for the night. We’ll be safer once we’re inside somewhere.”

Mika nods, still frowning. “I’m sorry I’m holding you back.”

This time it is Tyreese who steps in, standing to Maggie’s right. He bends down, level with Mika before placing his hand against her shoulder and squeezing in a comforting manner.

“It’s fine,” he promises, smiling softly. “You’re not holding any of us back. We can afford to stop and take a break for a few moments, right? We haven’t seen any signs of walkers for a few hours now.” He turns subsequently, gathering Maggie’s gaze. Her face appears skeptical for a moment’s time, eager to find shelter and food, but she eventually concedes with a nod after it becomes apparent that Mika really could benefit from a little rest.

“You’re right, Mika.” Maggie smiles in what she hopes is a comforting manner, taking the young girl by the hand. “You rest for a while, catch some good dreams, and Tyreese and I will keep watch over you.”

She nods happily, thankful to be given the chance to rest, and sets her bag on the ground before laying down herself, cupping her hands beneath her head as she closes both eyes.

The older brunette swipes her short hair behind her ear afterwards, taking the baby from Tyreese’s arms.  “I suppose now is as good a time as any to feed Judy,” she points out.

He nods, searching through their duffle bag for any remaining formula.

Maggie holds Judith outward, looking the baby over while deep in thought. “Where is your daddy, little one?” She asks herself, eyes downcast. “Where is Beth? Where’s Glenn?”

She sighs afterwards, pulling Judith close and into her chest, stroking the back of her head.

* * *

Beth hums quietly to herself, fingers fast at work picking berries from off of a tree.

After observing the area and finding no signs of walkers, they had decided to settle down and rest for the night. Luckily Daryl had been able to identify the berries as edible and the blonde had taken to picking them from the trees with Sasha on watch and Daryl off on his own filling water bottles.

“That’s a real pretty song you’re humming.”

Sasha’s words startle Beth, pulling her from her thoughts and so she turns to meet the dark haired woman’s soft gaze. She blushes, shrugging sheepishly before continuing to pick at the tree. “Thanks, my mom used to sing it to me before bed when I was little.”

The older of the two nods although Beth cannot see it because her back is turned. “My momma never really sang too much to me; never had the voice for it. But Ty,” Sasha pauses, biting her lower lip as memories flood back. “Tyreese always loved singing to me.”

“Loves,” Beth corrects, turning. Sasha raises a brow curiously and the blonde shrugs self-consciously. “Loves, like present tense. He isn’t dead; he still loves singin’ to you.”

She seems to contemplate this sentiment for a moment or two, hands holding her rifle steady. Eventually she nods, brushing shoulders with the younger girl and smiling softly. “You’re right,” she tells her. “He still loves to.”

Beth smiles in return, grateful for Sasha’s optimistic mood this evening. It’s easier to feel more optimistic herself when she’s surrounded by others who can keep their own hope and faith alive for their loved ones. Hershel may be gone now but Maggie is still out there and Beth just knows it. Just like she knows Glenn is out there, Rick and Judith, Carl, and Michonne. Just like she knows Tyreese is still out there somewhere too, waiting on Sasha to come back home to him.

“You know, I was just—”

“Beth, Sasha.” Daryl inturrupts the twosome, his voice coming out stressed and hoarse. The two woman turn towards the sound of his voice.

“What’s wrong?” Beth can tell by the look on his face that something isn’t right. Rearranging the bottles of water strapped to his vest, he reaches behind his back and grabs his crossbow.

“We gotta go,” he tells them. “There’s a big herd not long off, makin’ their way over towards us. I wanna be far from here before they get the chance to sniff us out.”

* * *

“Explain it to me one more time!”

Rick’s words come out explosive, both hands resting upon Glenn’s shoulders. The younger man looks panicked, blood covering his clothes due to a close run with a bunch of walkers.

“I dunno, I dunno,” he offers, shaking his head frantically. “It all happened so fast. We had to split up, both went to separate sides of the building and decided to cover more ground so we could save our asses. There were just _so_ many of them and they kept coming. By the time it was over she was just gone, Rick. I’m sorry.”

He can hear the sincerity within Glenn’s tone and can’t find any strength left in himself to be mad at the man. Honestly, he and Carol probably would have used the same tactic had it been him instead of Glenn.

“You’re sure you didn’t see a…a body?”

Carl winces softly as his father asks, turning his head from the two standing before him.

Glenn shakes his head hastily, breathing deeply. “No, no body. No screams. She just disappeared.”

Rick nods even though it doesn’t really make any sense. None of it does.

“Carol is smart.” He eventually settles on, both body and mind tired. “It’s getting’ late and we need to find shelter for the night. If she’s still al—it’s what she’ll have done, too. We’ll find her, we will. We just need time.”

* * *

When Beth was a little girl she dreamt of her own house out on the farm, of a yard filled with beautiful animals, trees full of blossoming flowers, and her loved ones always willing to stop by and say their hellos.

When Beth had made her home in the prison, she’d lost hope for that particular dream, but still felt endless possibilities within her heart. Instead, she would dream of making a life there, of being content by being surrounded by those she had come to call family. She could picture Maggie and Glenn with a few babies of their own, grandpa Hershel always by their side teaching them how to grow crops and telling stories all about the old, fun times he used to have with the family back on the farm. Beth could picture Judith growing older, walking around the prison as curious as any Grimes family member she’d ever known.

Now, when Beth dreams, it’s no longer a dream, but a nightmare. Long nights filled praying for food, for shelter, for safety, and for the rest of the family she has left to be alive and to come back to her in one piece.

Sasha mumbles slightly beside her and she can feel the blanket shifting as she moves beneath the dirty fabric, turning onto her side and away from the blonde. She is snoring lightly, a surefire sign that she is asleep, and Beth guiltily finds herself hoping that she’ll wake up and keep her company. Of course, that wouldn’t be fair to her. It’s rare when Sasha is able to sleep, staying up on most nights whether she wants to or not, and Beth should be thankful that she’s finally at ease for a few hours or so. Still, a small part of her fears being left to her own devices, with nobody around to keep her company.

Sometimes when Beth closes her eyes she can still hear the gunfire, can still smell the smoke and see her people screaming in fear, running for their lives. She can see her daddy, clear as day standing before her right before the bullet had connected with the flesh of his fore—Beth grimaces, blinking those thoughts away as they begin to surface once again. It’s the last thing she needs to be thinking about, especially right now.

After spending the morning running from an approaching herd they’d used the afternoon scavenging house to house, looking for anything of importance or somewhere to stop and rest. They ended up coming across a house with a cellar, twelve walkers inside. The amount had caught the threesome by surprise and they’d struggled to quickly dispose of them. One had grabbed Beth by her ponytail, pulling her close and towards its gaping mouth, teeth chattering and ready for flesh. Luckily Sasha had saved her, stabbing his knife through the walkers head faster than it could end her life.

Beth has been on edge for the rest of the day, even more alert than usual. It’s been the closest call she’s encountered since being forced from the prison. Beth hopes it stays that way—hopes it’s been staying that way for the rest of their family, the ones who are still out there somewhere trying just as hard as Beth and Sasha and Daryl are to find their loved ones. And even though it’s been a few weeks, she refuses to give up that hope. It is one dream she’ll never give up on, not as long as her heart continues to beat.

Sasha shifts beneath their shared covers a few minutes later, stifling a yawn and causing Beth’s ears to perk up slightly.

“Beth,” she whispers, voice laced with sleep. “You awake?”

“I’m awake,” the younger confirms, not even a moment after, hoping her voice doesn’t betray to Sasha her happiness at the woman’s own lack of slumber.

“M’too,” she offers with a yawn, scratching at her hair with her fingertips. Beth takes a moment to turn beneath the blanket herself, opposite Sasha as they now both rest beside each other face to face.

Sasha looks like hell, to be quite honest. Her eyes are baggy and dark, proof of just how badly she needs rest, and it’s obvious enough to make Beth feel even worse for her wishes that she would wake up. She has fresh wounds, too; battle scars from their time in the woods on their own. Beth realizes that without Sasha, she would be dead back at the prison, not a single hope for her left in this world.

Sasha sighs, looking the blonde over slightly. “You should get some rest, Beth.”

“I’m tryin’,” she responds honestly, shrugging delicately. “My mind just doesn’t wanna stop workin’, it seems.”

She chuckles softly, nodding. “I’ve been there,” she agrees. “Most nights, to be honest.”

“There’s a lot to think about.” Beth responds truthfully, biting at her lower lip. “It’s hard to turn off a mind that wants to wander, no matter how much you pray for it to just stop and let you be.”

Her friend turns away silently, nodding slowly as she takes Beth’s words into consideration.

“You get some sleep,” she eventually speaks up. “Only a few more hours ‘till sunrise.”

Beth pulls the covers up tighter over her chest.

* * *

_When Maggie spots Beth, she’s already taken the form of a walker._

_The brunette’s mouth opens wide but she finds herself unable to make any noise, her words failing her and body growing numb. Memories of her younger sister, of the innocent blonde, flash before her closed lids and her eyes grow wet at the thought as she drops to her knees._

_The crackling of branches beneath her body weight causes Beth’s corpse to turn quickly, mouth covered in fresh blood. Her mouth opens, a low grown emitting in place of the beautiful notes that she used to once sing. Maggie’s heart breaks at the sight, both fear and sorrow building up within the pit of her stomach as the walker approaches her, arms stretched forward haphazardly and body clumsy in its movements._

_Frozen, Maggie can do nothing but watch on in utter horror as the dead body of her former sister approaches, grabbing her by the hair and biting into the flesh of the brunette’s neck._

Maggie wakes with a jump, a slight gasp pulling from her throat and spilling out in between her lips as she begins to search around frantically for any potential threats. Eventually she comes to realize that she’s still in the safety of an abandoned house they’d found hours ago.

It had taken hours of walking and hours of grumbling stomachs and tired feet and sweaty bodies, but eventually they’d found a gathering of houses, settling into one for the night.

She sighs deeply, checking to her right to make sure Mika is still asleep beside her. The small blonde girl breathes in and out slowly, a slight frown on her face with the blankets wrapped tightly around her little frame. This makes Maggie grimace softly in response and she strokes the girl’s hair a few times before tucking herself back into bed beside her. Mika must not be having any better dreams than she is.

Maggie knows that it was just a nightmare, that Beth is really okay and out there somewhere. She just knows it.

She has to be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This will be the final update until after the holiday season! Merry Christmas, everyone!


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: There is an attempted rape scene within this chapter. Please do not read this if it will upset you.

“Now, ain’t that the prettiest little thing you ever did see?”

His words stop Beth Greene cold, her body instantly tensing as she halts movement.

This isn’t happening. If she pretends it isn’t happening, then it won’t be, right?

The plan was to go on a simple run. Beth was meant to take the truck and go out, gather a few essentials, and meet back up with Sasha and Daryl at the convenient store they’d been living in for the past few days.

And it had taken everything Beth had to get them to agree for her to go on this run, too. Obviously, Daryl hadn’t liked the idea. But a close call with a walker the day previous had caused the archer to fall, his body rolling down a slight hill with enough force for the knife he’d been harboring in his hand to accidentally connect with the flesh of his thigh.

The wound wasn’t too deep and luckily Sasha had found some spare first aid equipment while out the week before, but it had been bad enough to make him a liability out in the field. At least for another few days or so.

While the convenient store had thus far been perfect for finding shelter in, the same couldn’t be said for their food situation. It’d gotten to the point where they’d barely been eating, especially with three of them on the run.

Realizing that Daryl would need to rebuild his strength, and that Sasha was the best option to stay behind and protect him, Beth had brought up the idea of going on a solo run.

After a lot of huffing and arguing, they had finally relented. They’d been able to realize it, too—just how badly they needed some sort of sustenance.

Now, though? Beth can’t help in wondering if she’s made the worst mistake of her life by going without backup.

Things had been smooth up until this point.

She’d gotten in and out in fifteen minutes, the place having been mostly ransacked, but had been lucky in finding enough food to last them for the next three days or so. By that point, Beth had been optimistic that Daryl would be rested and healed enough to function better.

But then she’d heard it, with her hands full of groceries on the way back to her car. Someone, multiple people probably, standing behind her. Speaking in a tone indicative of something that has the hairs on the back of Beth’s neck standing at attention.

Turning slowly, with a slight shake in her body but steely determination in her eyes, she meets gazes with a man. He’s older than her by far, probably mid-fifties if she had to guess. To his right are two other men, both younger than their apparent leader but equally as unappealing as him.

All three are watching her, wide grins on their faces.

“Can I help you?” Beth asks them, disappointed by the slight waver of her voice as it comes out.

The third, the shortest of the three, chuckles loudly. “Why, I do believe you can. Ain’t that right, Tommy?”

“It most definitely is,” the leader, Tommy, agrees. Beth swallows thickly, her eyes averting. She can’t help in wishing Daryl was here. She knows that he would protect her from these men, hell, from a million men if that’s what it took.

“What’s your name, pretty little thing?” Tommy asks, footsteps heavy on the pavement as he slowly makes his way towards her. Glancing around in worry, Beth can’t help in fearing that walkers might approach at any given moment. As if she’d need two things to worry about currently.

“It’s uh, Andrea,” she supplies halfheartedly, not really knowing why she just lied. Something about the thought of them knowing her real name has her stomach twisting in knots. It’d sounded best in the heat of the moment, to lie and instead give away the name of one of her fallen friends.

“Andrea, is it?” The second purrs, stepping closer as well. Tommy turns just as suddenly, his gun free from his holster and pointing at the man. “Go wait for me in the car, Hank,” he tells him. Hank looks as though he wants to protest but, thinking better of it, simply walks off. “You too, Remy,” Tommy echoes his sentiments for the third man who does as told as well, a scowl on his face.

“What do you want?” Beth asks, biting at her lip as Tommy’s attention returns to her.

“I think we both know what I want, girl,” Tommy chuckles, the noise sending shivers down Beth’s spine. “Andrea, you said? Pretty name for a pretty girl, I suppose.”

Reaching forth, Tommy runs his harsh, dirt ridden hand along the side of Beth’s cold cheek. She turns from the touch, ready to push the man’s hand away, when his gun trains on her. “You got a car or somethin’ with ya?” He asks.

With fear in her eyes, her gaze never leaving the gun pointed toward her head, Beth nods. “Yeah,” she mumbles, not sure why it matters.

Smiling, Tommy nudged at her shoulder with the tip of the gun. Beth jumps slightly upon contact. “Well, what the hell are you waitin’ on, girl? We ain’t gonna do this here, so you best hurry up and take me to your car.”

Body shaking, Beth turns and does as told. She can feel both Tommy’s gaze on her back and the gun as it’s pressed to the side of her head. Fearing just what ‘this’ implies, she wonders with revulsion if it might just be easier to have the man shoot her and get it over with.

“This’ll do just fine, won’t it?” Tommy appraises the truck, his gun moving away from Beth’s temple in the process. Turning, the girl’s fearful eyes meet Tommy’s once more.

“Please, you don’t have to do this,” she tells him, her lower lip trembling as the realization of just how serious her predicament currently is settles in. “I can give you my food and we can just part ways,” she tries.

Tommy only laughs in response, loud and condescending. “I ain’t needin’ your food, girl. And there’s really no point in beggin’ me not to do this,” he pauses, slowly bending towards the young blonde. She turns away, her bag dropping to the pavement and hands grasping at the sides of her shirt in a death grip as she cringes. “I like it when they scream, anyway,” he promises, breath hot on her ear.

Cocking the gun, Tommy is quick to grab at Beth’s shoulder. Pulling her roughly, he practically throws her into the bed of the truck she’d been driving. She hits the floor with a loud thud, her head banging against the side. Beth groans in pain, her eyes shutting as she wells the tears not to fall.

She can’t see it, her eyes still shut, but can hear it as Tommy climbs inside of the truck bed himself. Beth’s only resolution by this point is to pray a stray walker finds them, and the sooner the better. With horror, she realizes she’d rather turn than be touched by this man. Just yesterday she’d of been beggin’ for anything else than being bit by a walker.

His hands, large and calloused, grasp at her cheeks and pull her in. Beth whimpers, unpleasant and small from the back of her throat the moment Tommy’s lips find her own.

The only other people she’s ever kissed were here two boyfriends, Jimmy and Zach, and Rick. And that’d been all they’d done, too. Before the apocalypse, before walkers took over her life and wielding knives became priority over Friday night football games, Beth had been set in staying a virgin until her wedding night.

She’d since changed ideals, however, realizing that she’d cherish in the opportunity to make love to a man if she loved him but wasn’t married to him. The apocalypse changes things, makes priorities different, but she’d still always kept faith in the fact that she could possibly find love someday.

But now? With her back pressed into the cold of the truck bed floor, Tommy’s heavy weight hovering above her with his mouth on hers and fingers working the buttons of her jeans, Beth doesn’t really know what to think or believe anymore. For the thousandth time since they’ve been separated, she finds herself wishing for Rick.

He pulls away with a wet pop, eyes glistening over as he admires the blondes lithe form beneath him. Realizing her cheeks are now soaked with wet tears, that her hands are shaking so badly she can’t do much with them at all, a warm ball of shame developed deep within the pit of her stomach.

In disbelief over what is happening, as the embarrassment begins settling in, Beth is forced to swallow back down the bile threatening to spill out. “Please, God,” she sobs, no longer caring if she breaks in front of this man, “I didn’t do anything to you, please leave me alone.”

“Keep talkin’, girl,” Tommy growls out, his smile wide and menacing. “I like ‘em when they cry, but you already know that.”

Placing a quick kiss to Beth’s clavicle, his left hand begins slowly creeping up the fabric of her shirt and touching the warm flesh he finds there. Simultaneously, Tommy uses his right hand to begin unbuttoning his pants.

Too busy frantically praying for her own death to come for her, Beth misses it when it first happens.

It isn’t until she feels it along her cheek, a warm wetness much thicker in consistency than her own tears, that she realizes something has happened.

Tommy is still resting on top of her, but he’s now limp across her lap, hand no longer moving. Glancing his way, she spots the bullet hole now in his head.

Her heart jumping out of her chest, Beth is quick to push the dead weight off of her body, removing his hand from her shirt in the process. Her eyes traveling around the lot, she’s almost fearful she’ll find one or both of the men he’d been traveling with—visions already coloring her mind, Beth almost suffocates at the thought of the two of them assaulting her in unison, both laughing and having their way with her innocence.

“Beth!”

This breaks her from her near delusions, still lucid enough to recall that she’d lied about her name to the other two men. With wide eyes and a frantically thumping chest, Beth finds herself surveying the lot once more.

Mostly expecting to see Daryl, she can’t help but gasp at what she finds instead.

It’s Carl Grimes, there and in the flesh right in front of her, half hidden behind an old abandoned car in the lot, his gun with his silencer still in place in hand. Waving her over, she complies instantly. Her feet hitting the pavement, she’s in front of him within seconds.

“Beth, I saw what that guy was doing to you and I just knew I was gonna have to shoot him. I’m sorry th—”

The tight hug she pulls him into silences him instantly, and he hugs back with just as much force. “Carl,” Beth cries out, her tears now flowing freely as she wraps her arms tight around the younger boy. “God Carl, you saved me. You came to me. I thought you were dead,” she whispers, her head buried in the crook of his neck. “I can’t believe you saved me.”

“Thought the same about you,” he responds truthfully, pulling back enough to meet gazes with the girl. “Right now we gotta leave, we gotta go. It’s not safe for you out here. You’re in shock I think.”

As if just now remembering her current state, Beth blushes. Pulling away from Carl’s touch completely, Beth is quick to pull her shirt back down and button up her jeans. “You gotta come with me,” she counters, wiping at her cheeks with her hand and smearing the blood there further in the process. “Daryl and Sasha are with me. We’ve been stayin’ at a convenient store nearby.”

“Daryl is with you? Sasha?” She spots Carl’s eyes as they light up slightly upon hearing this news. Beth nods quickly.

“Dad is with me,” Carl answers in return. “Glenn, too. They’re both ransacking the shop just across the street here,” he nods in the direction of the small store across the road.

“Rick?” Beth chokes out, her eyes widening and traveling towards the building she now knows the two to be inside of. “I knew he wasn’t dead, I knew it,” she mumbles, relief evident upon her features. “Judy?”

His eyes downcast, Carl simple shakes his head no.

Gasping, just as quickly Beth is back to feeling nauseous.

“Carl, I’m so—”

“Should of left when you had the chance, you bitch.” Hank has Beth in his arms before she or Carl can even comprehend what’s happening. “Just saw what you did to our boy Tommy,” he continues, body pressed tight against Beth’s back with his knife to her throat. “I ain’t too impressed. And what about you, son?”

Hank’s attention turns towards Carl, the young boy pulling his gun out and pointing it at the man. “Let her go,” he growls out, voice angry. Only Beth spots the slight shaking of his hand on the gun. “I’ll kill you if you don’t.”

Laughing, Hank tightens his grip on the young blonde. “You ain’t gonna do nothin’,” he tells him. “You see, my boy Remy is on his way back to our basecamp to get the rest of our men. We ain’t too pleased by what y’all did to Tommy, and you’re gonna pay for it. First, I’m gonna have my way with this pretty young thing right here,” he pauses, trailing his finger along Beth’s cheek. She squeezes both eyes shut tightly, flinching away from his touch. “And then, I’m gonna let my men have you.” Hank nods Carl’s way.

“You’re gonna be dead long before then.”

Cocking his gun, Rick signifies his presence. All three of the people currently residing on the lot turn, their eyes landing on both Rick and Glenn with their weapons raised.

Hank’s smile falters, loosening his grip on Beth slightly.

Rick’s eyes meet Beth’s own and he nods softly without any words, opting to focus on their current predicament before saying anything more.

“I was just playin’ around, man,” Hank tries.

“Just playin’? Is that right?” Rick questions, stepping closer to the man. “Just pretendin’ you were about to hurt my family?”

Before any more words can be exchanged, Rick pulls the trigger.

For the second time that day, Beth is covered in another man’s blood. And for the second time that day, she finds that she really doesn’t mind.

Hank’s body now lays lifeless on the pavement beneath Beth’s feet. Kicking his limp hand away from her foot, Beth runs for Rick.

He’s waiting, both arms extended, and she finds herself clutching the man tightly around his chest. “Beth, my god,” Rick mumbles, lips pressed against the blonde’s hair, “I thought you were dead. Thought you were all dead.” Pulling away, with both hands still clasping her shoulders, Rick eyes Beth over warily. “Are you alright? You’re not hurt, are you?”

She shakes her head quickly, clinging to him tighter. “I’m okay, I’m alive. I’m alive.”

“You are,” he agrees, smiling, happier than he’s been in days. Eventually he pulls away, allowing Glenn to pull the blonde into a bone crushing hug of his own.

“Maggie?” He wonders. Beth pulls back sadly, shaking her head. He tries not to seem too disappointed by this, nodding understandably.

“I do have some good news though,” she offers with a small smile.

This perks both Glenn and Rick’s interest and she finds her smile widening.

“Follow me.”


	12. Chapter 12

Rick sits nearby the fire next to Daryl, both holding cups of water in their hands as they enjoy the warmth the fire provides.

Everyone else is upstairs for the night, tucked in tight and happy to have found each other.

Rick sighs, taking a sip of his drink before he turns to take note of Daryl. It’s dark out, only the lick of the flames available to provide a source of light. Still, Rick can tell that the man is frowning deeply.

“You doin’ okay?” He wonders sincerely.

Daryl shrugs slightly, his right elbow resting on the armrest, his chin in his hand. “Thinkin’ bout things.”

“About Carol.”

His soft grunt is enough a reply as any.

“We’ll find her,” Rick promises, nodding his head. Truth be told, he’s feeling just as nervous as Daryl looks. Both know that she’s strong, stronger than any of them had ever thought she could be, but it’d still be hard to survive out there by yourself. Rick isn’t a praying man, not anymore, but he finds himself praying that she makes it out alive.

“Hey, look at me.” His tone of voice causes Daryl to do just that, turning to meet gazes with the man. “We will find her.”

Daryl watches him quietly for a moment or so before nodding.

“We got to, man.”

* * *

“This cabin is so nice,” Beth smiles, taking a moment to observe the place appreciatively.

She really hadn’t cared about the state of it before now, far too worried about surviving to give into something so trivial. But now that they’ve found more of their family she doesn’t feel so badly about appreciating their luck in finding such a place.

It’s big enough to not make them feel constricted, which is nice. There were actually clean blankets and sheets, ones without spots of blood or brain matter coloring them and for that she finds herself extremely grateful. Not to mention it means that she gets to spend actual time sleeping on a bed. And she thought her cot at the prison was comfortable. This doesn’t even compare.

Carl smiles a bit as he watches her enjoying herself. He has to admit that he’s missed her a great deal since the prison fell. Beth has always been the one there for them all, helping to make them feel as though things actually stand a chance of getting better someday.

He hates the thought of ever losing that type of feeling.

Rick enters the kitchen afterwards, clasping his son on the shoulder and offering Beth a warm smile.

“What’s the plan for today?” Carl wonders, turning in his chair to question at his dad.

“Gatherin’ supplies and searchin’ for Carol,” he responds in earnest, taking a seat at the table. Carl offers him the can he had been eating out of, a container of kidney beans, and Rick helps himself to the remaining half.

“I’ll be lookin’ for supplies while Daryl checks around nearby for any sign of Carol.”

“That’s right,” the man commands, setting his crossbow onto the table as he pulls out his own can of food to eat. “I was thinkin’ you might wanna come along kid,” Daryl offers, nudging Carl’s shoulder. “Your dad told me you’re pretty worried about findin’ her.”

Carl nods quickly, happy to finally be included in something so important. “Yeah,” he smiles, “I’d like that. Maybe we can look for Michonne, too,” he points out. “You know, just in case.”

No one responds as suddenly the atmosphere shifts slightly, everyone thinking the same thoughts but too afraid to say them aloud.

“You’re sure you’re okay to go out so soon?” Beth inturrupts the elephant in the room, frowning. She can’t help but glance towards his thigh, remembering just yesterday when she’d been forced to patch him up.

He huffs in response, frowning. “Ain’t got no other damn choice. I’m not leavin’ her out there. Or Michonne,” he adds, staring pointedly at Carl who’s lips turn up in a slight grin, pleased.

Rick stands up from the table, clasping the blonde on the arm tenderly. “He’ll be fine, Beth,” he offers, squeezing gently. He can tell that Daryl is on edge enough at it is and doesn’t want the person he finally ends up snapping at to be Beth. “How about you come with me for the day, searchin’ for supplies. Glenn and Sasha can explore for Carol, too.”

A flicker of fear flashes within her eyes as he says this and he can tell something is wrong. Suddenly he remembers yesterday in the parking lot with the man he had killed. His anger flairs as he wonders just what exactly had happened yesterday. They’d never gotten the chance to talk about the experience in depth, too preoccupied by the happiness that had come with finding so many of each other.

“Can we talk for a minute?” He asks, this time quieter.

Beth nods stiffly, aware of just what exactly he wants to talk about, passing by Daryl and Carl who are already making plans with each other for the day as they leave the kitchen and enter the living room.

“Talk to me,” he offers once they’re finally alone. “Did somethin’ happen yesterday? Somethin’ you’re not tellin’ me about?”

The blonde frowns deeply, turning away from Rick’s curious gaze. “I…”

“Beth, you can tell me.” He kisses her gently on the forehead, pulling her closer by the hands.

She nods, finally meeting his gaze again. “I know that. I just…They wanted me. They wanted to do _stuff_ to me. But Carl got there before anythin’ happened, I swear.”

Rick takes a moment to close his eyes, pushing back his anger at the man from yesterday. “You promise there’s nothin’ more?”

She blinks back tears, nodding. “Just a kiss and some touchin’, but nothin’ else. And that wasn’t even the worst part, Rick. The worst part,” she pauses, swallowing heavily, “The worst part is that I wished a walker would come up on us and kill me. That’s how bad it was. I’d rather of been bittin’.”

His anger dissipates instantly, his heart dropping in its place as he hugs the smaller girl tightly. She cries softly against his chest, holding back as strongly as he can manage. “It’s okay,” he promises. “You’re safe now. I will never let anythin’ like that happen to you again.”

* * *

 

“Can I ask you somethin’ Glenn?”

Sasha finally works up the nerve to ask the man something she’d been dying to know ever since they first left the cabin together.

He continues to walk beside her through the woods, both of their weapons raised as he nods his head. “Sure Sasha, what is it?”

She sighs despondently, casting her eyes away briefly and off towards a nearby tree. Its leaves have just begun to fall and a few float to the ground, resting soundlessly once they hit the dirt below. “Do you think Tyreese is dead?”

This catches him off guard and he pauses, his feet stalling him as he comes to a standstill. Hesitating, he turns to regard her. “Sasha,” he frowns, “You can’t think that way.”

“I’m not,” she responds. “I just wonder if you think he could still be alive. Finding you guys was lucky enough as it is. Can lightning really strike twice?”

He stays silent for a moment in order to think about it. “Maggie is alive,” he eventually tells her. There isn’t an ounce of skepticism or doubt within his tone and it strikes at Sasha’s heart deeply, her blood pumping faster at the realization that he truly, without hesitation, believes his wife to still be alive.

She would give anything for a sense of confidence like that.

“And Ty?”

Glenn nods. “Tyreese is alive, too. They’re out there somewhere, Sasha. And we’re going to see them again.”

Somehow she finds the courage to nod at him, gripping his shoulder quickly before pulling away.

Together they take off, walking further into the forest.


End file.
